Merdeka day

didnt do much today...woke up vv early and then on9 a while then went back to sleep again...yam lou called today and asked to go for breakfast...i agreed...lolz...then after that we went to Coffee Bean to study...my exam starts on saturday and as for him,starts tomorrow =) lolz...
stay there kinda long lar...feel vv cold there...then jl came over to take things from me...then not long,k yeng came too...nothing much lar...we chat...then continue my study...bout 4 sth,i went home...cuz i'm really tired...didnt sleep well last nite...drink a lot but slept at 4 sth and woke up at 8 sth...hiahz...
lolz...i'm kinda happy today bcuz a fren of mine bang onto me last nite at laundry...but he didnt call out to me bcuz he was afraid that he recognise the wrong person...lolz...he said i'm pretty and sexy ler...never met him b4...he was woan yuen's bf's fren lai de...and k yeng today did say that i lose my fats and yam lou agreed too ^^ the happiest day of my week
then at nite is just as usual,have dinner with my family and now blogging and deleted my ex's fotos from my facebook...after that i need to head back to study for my finals...haihz...pathetic life lar~~~

Merdeka Eve~~~

let me refresh what i did yesterday...alright...i had my breakfast..we ate bak kut teh...then ntg much to do in the afternoon...at night was supposed to watch movie...but suddenly canceled...then i ate dinner with alan...yea,he's eugene's fren...and eugene is my ex's fren...then i went to laundry with ryan...my face look red after drinking...lolz...will be uploading the fotos as soon as i get them from Joyce(ryan's bro's gf)
another weird thing is,so convenient ryan's bro and frens went to sg klah yesterday...i was wondering what wud happen if ryan did not admitted into hospital and bring me there with them...will i see my ex and his gal there?? scary..lolz..but luckily,everything's under control of God's hands...
alan did proposed to me...not marry kind lar u dumb dumb...he asked me to be his gf...oh well...he's not bad lar...nice salary,good age,good person ^^ lolz...but i'm not materialistic kind of gal lar...i just started to enjoy my single life...suddenly come all this...argh~!!!! i havent had enough fun yet ler...lolz =)
might be going out later with ryan to have lunch ^^ hehe...sleept late last nite and woke up early today...haihz...dunno wat happen lar...alright for now...will be uploading the fotos soon ^^

fotos

the pictures that i had promised ^^Such a Big Prawn

The Bill which is RM568.90~~ lolz...i guess it's ok right?? for a dinner for family =)

a splendid night

today...i visited ryan again...reach hospital is bout 3 sth edi...he look vv pity ler...lolz...he's in pain...but i can do nothing =( he wanted to show me his part that had operated...but i dun dare...lolz...but all i can do is to assist him in things like pushing the table away and pour some water for him to drink...tomolo he'll be discharge from the hospital ^^ hopes that he'll get well soon =)
tonite,i had a splendid nite...i had a marvellous dinner with my fren's family which costs RM568.90~~~ ARGH~~~ so expensive...i took down some pictures of it...will be uploading tomolo =) becuz it's kinda late now..after that,we head to pavilion for movie...we watched "up"...not bad lar..touching and funny =) it's very late d when i reach home...it's bout 3am =(

SMC

argh~~~ tired...woke up early in the morning and get prepare to visit ryan in Sunway Medical Centre...he look kinda scared...lolz...vv funny lar...i accompany him for bout 2 to 3 hours...this kind of fren hard to find lar =) and i forgotten to bring some magazines for him so that he won be so bored...sorry ryan =( hehe...but i oso good lar...i buy newspaper for u ler and accompany u for soooo long =) i even took a picture of him wearing the surgery attire...lolz...but he never allowed me to post it here nor on facebook =(
actually i did plan to visit my ex's mum aka my godmum ^^ but plan cancelled bcuz i'm staying in the hospital...sorry mum...and she's rushing out to buy stuffs for grandpa so we didnt have breakfast together...she oso asked me to buy some biscuits...i'll be going after this...
tonight,there's many plans for me to go...i really do feel like going...but exam's next week and i had done nothing...hahah...yea i noe i'm such a lazy bum XD lolz...this is my life as a student...i won start till last minute =P hehehe...so i guess i will be going to none of the parties tonite =( bye bye nite parties ='( argh~!!!!!!

REVISION DAY

hmmm...there's nothing much bout today...i'm in the library right now,alone =( frens went for lectures d...lolz...yea i noe i'm lazy =) went for breakfast wit them ^^ then they taught me bout maf and fa and even bl...lolz...i'm kinda afraid of maf more...becuz my knowlegde is less than half of the whole chapter...
it's kinda weird u noe...this week,a lot ppl asked me out on friday...scary...but i guess i will be going to none of the parties becuz firstly,i'm kinda lazy...second,i need to study...and ryan...he'll be going to hospital for operation tomolo...if i'm free,i'll go visit him then after that,head to my godmum's hse =) lolz...he's kinda cute...love his personalities ^^

exhausted

I'm so tired today...i guess it was becuz of not enough sleep...even today in class,i almost fell asleep...luckily i can make it home =) after that i went to "gei tak sek" with robert (yuan's cousin) to have my breakfast and then after that,we went to jusco...becuz i wanted to buy nail polish ^^
time is still early after i had buy my stuffs,so robbert suggested going to 1u for a movie...finally...i watched "i love you,beth cooper"...it's kinda funny but with lotsa sexual scenes...lolz...but the part that most touched me is robbert bought nuggets for me when i say i feel like eating one...that time,the movie almost started d...but he still go and buy ^^ then we headed home...i'm still vv tired till now =(
last nite another thing that made me happy was ryan...he told me that he wanted to come find me after his yam char session with frenz...but he didnt come becuz he cant call in my fon...but nvm lar...at least he told me and i'm happy ^^ hehe...

25082009

i'm so exhausted today...had breakfast early in the morning with my mates...after that we went to our class...we're late...but who cares...it's already the last week and next week,our examz gonna start...after that we went to PAVILION~!!! lol...i was vv happy and excited...as usual =P

BUT today something very funny happen...when we're on the way to carpark,a guy from opposite direction look at me...and when he go out the stairs,he almost fell down...me and lynn keep laughing all the way XD lolz...i didnt noe that i still can attract guys...*NOT BEING PERASAN* here lar...even lynn saw that he looked at me...haha

we watched the movie and after that we went to "forever 21"...well...me and cy took lots of clothes to try on it...i like 1 of the dress i tried on...but i didnt buy it...becuz cy said it's not kinda worth for that price =( haihz...we took fotos in the fitting room too ^^ lolz...then we went to pizza hut to wait for a gal becuz she borrowed hl's notes,and hl need it today on itself...yuen and lynn was vv frustrated as usual...we waited kinda long and fnally she came...then we went home ^^

marvellous

i read pei chie's blog just now...i saw that she wrote that she went to movies with louis and his 90% gf last sat...well,very surprisingly,my heart do ache a bit but not so much anymore and i do not shed a tear for him...am happy for them...and for myself too...but sth ridiculous happened...he asked me to pay for the phone bill...wth...wat kind of guy is he? after treating me this way and ask me to pay for the bill?? and i didnt used much...even if i do,i used it to call and sms his mum most of the time oni...but who cares...i will be better in time ^^
LOL...i was very happy today...becuz our plan to the movies did not cancel =) we will be going to the movies tomolo right after our class..we'll be watching "aliens in the attic"...though i watched already,but i feel like watching it again...becuz it's super duper funny ^^
i took down the code and everything...when i was about to save the GSC reservation hotline in my phone,Ryan called~!!! ARGH~!!! i was vv shocked...but happy...didnt noe that he'll call me that soon...hehe...he sounded happy so was i...lolz...but not to think too much =) will be updating my blog tomolo again ^^

23082009

today is sunday...woke up kinda late...and all of sudden,dad say wana go back to hometown =( haihz...sienz lar...hmmm...we reach there bout 2 sth...ntg much to do...watch dvd oni and continue my beauty sleep...hehe...such a pig...indeed i am...then after dinner,we came back to kl...
i was waiting for my sister to finish her bath and we shall go to the nite market...but when she's done,she said she dun wana go =( luckily my maid wana go...hehe...i bought bread for tomolo...cuz the class ends at 6pm..afraid will be hungry...lolz...
i msg ryan...didnt noe that he was in the nite market too...hehe...luckily didnt bump into him...dun wana let him see my tshirt look...then he invited me to yam cha at spicy...i went...we chat quite long and his fren,jess,is kinda funny too...i met some1 vv familiar...but dunno who is he...hmmm...still thinking...but i cant recall...then not long,sin ee came...hehe...just greet each other...he even leave earlier than me...lolz...after yam cha,we head back to our homes =) when i'm home,is edi 11.54pm...it's kinda late le...and i haven finish copying my notes...haihz...will be doing it after this...

saturday nite out

lolz..this is the first time i went out with tat selayang guy...not bad lar him...his looks oso kinda ok...lolz...we went to movies together...we watched "laughing gor:turning point"...this movie for me is kinda ok,but he said sienz...hmmm...luckily it wasnt me who choose the movie...hehe...then we went to yam char wit his brother and fren =) we went to pappa rich after tat continue to "hou kai fong"...he speaks hakka too...lolz...then drink till now oni reached home...it's bout 3.40am now ^^ hehe...i will be back for more updates ^^

to the next level...

yesterday,i get to know that my ex entered my facebook acc and he even read my blog...he even scold me and protect the girl...he said "u blog then blog la...dun insult ppl".....well...to me,i'm very straight forward...i will write wat i see and wat i feel...i NEVER insult ppl...if u're doing good,then i'll say...if u're doing bad,i'll say it too...iit's too bad tat he still dont understand me...nevermind lar...
i still wonder why he enter my facebook acc??? i'm taking myself to the next level...i've changed my password and i will change my phone memory card...so i wouldnt see anything that belongs to him...i guess he did the same too ^^am oso very afraid that he'll steal my poker chips...last nite,the same guy called me again...this time we chat from 2sth to 4sth almost 5am...can u believe that?? my god...it's so late...it's good chatting with both of this guys...they had awaken me ^^

what's wrong with me??

i thought i had forgotten him totally...but when his mum told me that his phone's wallpaper is W.C's foto,my heart ache a bit...but nevermind...time heals...everything seems to go wrong today...wondered why...haihz...he's my brother now...it's better off i dun think and pray for them for their happiness ^^ another day of sleepless nite...feels like wana get drunk...tomolo is saturday nite...no where to go so far...fon doesnt even ring...i guess i need to stay home study =(
haihz...pathetic life of mine...cant some1 call and say tomolo's there's club??? i just wana get drunk...all the guys today seem to be awkward...hmmm....nah...put it aside...dun wana think bout it...trying to get some sleep now =)

TERRIBLE~!!!

My emotions had been mixed up...it goes up and it goes down and then up again...haihz...class trip might be cancel and the movie on next wed oso =( i really wana go next week for the movies...and this is the first class trip we ever had...class trip is cancelling because a lot of our classmates need to go back to their hometowns =( haihz...but nevermind that....i'm planning to make one day trip or mayb a 2days 1 night trip to Singapore...can look for my darling yuan too...and then go sentosa ^^ but havent discuss with my mates yet...but i guess this trip is kinda impossible because the currencies are too high...well...stick to the 1 day trip is better...but havent plan where to go =( genting is too boring for us already...well....will be discussing wit them on monday ^^
lolz..last nite,another guy fren of mine called me...well,we didnt chat as long as the older guy...but anyhow,it's fun talking to him ^^ we just stayed so near to each other...i stayed at kepong and he stayed at selayang oni...tat's like sooooooo near...hehe...so when we go out for clubs,he might be able to fetch as it is oso same route ^^ hehe...i will be back for more =)

New life had started

LOL...starting to love my new single life now~!!! after all,it's not tat bad...the other day,yuan was talking to me..she said,"i miss out a lot of things when i was with him"...well...i found out what she's saying is kinda true too ^^ had planned everything...next wednesday,i'm going to movie after class ^^then during sem break,we'll be going to Port Dickson and Malacca with classmates ^^ Though i haven ask permission from daddy,i hope i can go so does my frens too ^^ BUT the bad news is,i need to drive...mayb can take turns let yuen drive =) but oso kinda worry becuz it's my car...i'm afraid of accidents =( so i guess,i need to drive myself
early Sept will be my finals...haven even start studying yet =( haihz...the time table sux le...we had Managing Information System,Business Law and TAX one shot =( lolz...will try my best to remember everything...
btw,i get to know a guy...he's a lot more older than me...but age doesnt matter ^^ he's kinda cute and naughty in personality...when i was talking to him,i had no stress at all...and most of the time,he made me laugh...i guess that's all for now...will be back for more ^^

u pull me up and u tear me down

yeap...he really did pull me up when i was at my worse of time...he came back to me...and now finally he's tearing me down again...wat am i to you? a rubbish?? suan le ba...it ends now...mayb u guys had already started ur relationship...i will be here praying tat u guys can have happiness ^^
but there's one thing i really dun understand...is bout W.C...we're both gals...but i dunno why u wana do this to me...had i done anything wrong to u before??? i noe she had the intention to hurt me PURPOSELY...i'm saying this bcuz she came and add me and even start talking to me...she "zhu dong" do all tat...and today she post tat thing oso i noe is purposely wana show me tat she had my ex...why do u wana hurt me?? i cant think of anything else...we're both gals..i think no1 can understand how i feel other than u and the rest of the gals in the world...but no matter wat u did,wrong or correct,i guess louis will be standing on ur side...cherish ur moments gal =)

i thanks God for Your arrangement in my destiny...even though sumtimes i wonder why You treat me this way or wondered what i had done wrong to deserve this kind of treatment... but still,i guess there's a reason behind all Your arrangement...i thank You again for Your guidance in my life...God bless me

happiness

ever since last saturday,i had decided to let go my ex,to give him up and not to think bout it anymore...after making tat decision,i feel quiet relieve and i was really happy till now..enjoying my life...at least my life wudn't let him control anymore ^^ today,got 1 aunty praised me...she said i'm getting prettier ^^ happy to hear tat =) i guess it was cuz of my hair dyed and after slim down alot...

this few days,i slept quite late...wondered why...am i suffering from insomnia??? aikx...normally i sleep during lectures...but today,i cant even take a nap...hmmm...i'm tired but just cant sleep...i found out sth shocking is tat the slut(W.C), she can do such things tat u cant imagine...lolz...i saw sth from facebook just now and i took down the pic ^^ well,W.C ar...this is just an advice for u...this guy if u want it,u can have him...i dun wan him le...like chinese ppl say "yat ci bat zhong,bak ci bat yong"...furthermore this guy had already betrayed me twice...just becareful...since we're both gals,i'm oni telling u this...but if u wana go for it,go ahead...not that i wana make u guys separate...after all he's my ex and i understand him quite deep...i will give u guys my blessings as how i gave him when he likes yee ling =)

but letting go is a good sign i guess ^^ i can find a better 1 than him..we've been together for 5 years...we've been thru ups and downs to get this far...but i feel tat it was always me who tried and fight for our relationship and you're always the one who ruin it...but anyway,u had allowed me to experienced and learnt new things from this relationship...i will be more aware of guys ^^ thanx for your tutoring...

In this pic,she wrote "xin de mei yi fen,mei yi miao dou zai xiang ni"...i noe that she's the 1 who send it out first becuz of the time and she even sent twice...

How naive i am

i really thought u love me...now i noe that u patched back wit me bcuz u feel lonely...i just found out tat my ex went out wit a gal called winne chin...they went for a movie =( it really hurts me badly now...really a lot...how naive i am to think tat we're stable???~!!! i hate myself~!!!!!

First cut is the deepest

tat's a song name...but it's true bout it's song title...indeed first cut is the deepest...but 2nd cut is oso the deepest for me bcuz it's cause by the same guy...i still cant get thru it...i cant explain my feelings rite now...i just noe tat i still love him a lot and i do miss him now...how come he can be so cruel??? say break then break...does our 5 years relationships means ntg to him? even all those obstacles tat we went thru? haihz...

i had not visit his car team's forum for weeks...but dunno why just now suddenly wana have a look...i guess i was too afraid to see wat i dun wana see...he had already changed the name list to Sg Klah =( i wish he wud bring me go but i noe tat the fact is he wudnt even ask me out...it's vv sad...i guess he had a new gal tat's why he can give up everything we owned...i feel like crying out loud...but i cant do it =( afraid tat my dad will ask wat had happened...

I MISS HIM A LOTS AND I LOVE HIM~!!!!

i noe even though he doesnt love me anymore...but my door will still always be open for him for as long as i could...i really hope there's miracle...but i guess in this case,there aren't any miracles for me...and miracles dun happen in my life before =(

SHOCKED~!!!

today,i had planned to skipped class...didnt have the mood to attend it...so,i went to my ex house to look for his mum...his mum asked me to accompany her...so i did...i waited for her to get ready...she gave me new cloth and a wig ^^ it's wonderful...then when she's ready,we went out for breakfast...we went to axian dim sum...hmmm...it taste normal,nothing out of the box ^^ we just ate siu mai and xiao long bao...tat's all...then we headed to IOI mall and we shopped for the groceries ^^
i received a call from my dearest darling,xiao yuan...was so happy tat she came back...but she flew off to melbourne tonite =( after a long walk,we went to sakae sushi...didnt eat much tho...my appetite is goin down so does my weight...i guess tat's a good sign rite? then i talked to hui boon as his shops is located there too ^^ lolz...after tat,we headed home...
i was SHOCKED and TERRIFIED that i saw jl's car and my ex's harrier...at tat moment,i stunt...felt vv scare to see him...then i talked to jl as i didnt see him for quite some time...not long later,we went into his house to sit...
then my ex came down and saw me...he smile and asked me "why u are here de?"...he then looked at jl and jl answered "it wasnt me who bring her here,she can drive"...lolz...it's kinda awkward tat he smiled but mayb i was sensitive or wat...or mayb he wasnt even smiling bcuz of me...yea...tat's rite...sud be thinking it tat way so i won hurt myself anymore...then he went out edi...i helped his mum to change the bed sheet in her room...it looks nice ^^
i went home not long later and headed to the saloon and get my hair dyed ^^...i'm so happy bcuz finally it's dyed and it smells good..it's not a sudden decision but just wana make myself prettier for tomolo's event...i will be going to quottro tomolo nite ^^

sudden news struck my feelings

last nite sth happened...but never mind it...i just read pei chie's blog...and i was so sad after i read it...long ago,my ex planned a trip to Sg Klah...i had really wanted to go there...but now...i guess it will remain as a dream...it has vv beautiful scenery and vv relaxing...i cant go anymore cuz i noe tat my ex wudnt even ask me bout it...i really am sad,and some kind of vv confused emotions that actually doesn't sounds good...haihz...i really do hope i can go there...

wat he really wants???

i post a personal msg in my msn just now at 11...saying tat i'm going to club tonite...why he wana care for me so much?? wateva he's doin rite now is making me more and more suffering =(
hiahz...i just dun wan him to talk to me..tat's all...he kept asking me not to go not to drink...but i'm oso a human...for sure i will be sad if we both ended up like this...but anyway i'll still go =(
hope it really can help me to forget all those sadness..

wat to do???

yesterday i went to his house...he was drunk and his mum told me to buy breakfast for him...i had wrote a letter to him the day b4 ytdy...
i reached his hse at 11 sth almost 12 pm...so i went uptairs to his room...when i opened the door,i saw tat his eyes were edi opened and was looking at the door...but when i open,he turn away...nevermind tat...i put the letter on his desk then i went back downstairs to eat my breakfast...i didnt have much appetite so i just took a few bites and throw the whole thing away...

i was looking for paper and pen..i've found it and wrote sth on it...it says,"your breakfast is downstairs..i'll leave as soon as ur mum is back...dun blame her as she noes ntg between us"...i went back upstairs and i stand in from of his door quite long...thinking whether wana go in or not...in the end,i decided to slip the paper thru the bottom of the door...i went back downstairs to wash the plates and turn on my laptop...
not long later,he came down...he tried to talk to me like asking where's mum,wat time she come bek,u reach vv long edi? and a lot more...i answered him in a soft voice but i didnt look at him at all..he went into kitchen to eat his breakfast and not long he came out again...ask me why there's another noodles hanging there...i said i cant finished it...so i throwed away...when he was downstairs,i was upstairs...when he went up,i go bek down again...i dun dare to face him...not long later we were sitting at the living room...and he received a call...i guess it was jl..asking him for gaming...he answer as in he dun wana go...after he hung up,he call alex again...i heard him say.."u otw d??~!!!" i guess he dun wana go out or wat..i didnt noe
i went bek up to his mum's room cuz i just cant stand it...he follow me..not long later alex reached...i was lying there...he asked me wat happen to ur leg...why dun dare to face me...why keep swallow ur saliva...why my breath is getting faster...then he kissed me at the cheeks..

i just cant stand it anymore...i stopped him at the stairs...i asked him wat he wan...he say he needs a rest...and i ask again wat he did tat for...he say frens kiss like wat caucasians did...i cant stand it anymore...i ran bek to his mum's room and cried softly...i think he heard me..he was standing at the stairs for a long time but in the end he went out...
i went to his room...i saw he read my letter...and i turn on his latop,there's still pic of me...i just dun understand all his actions...wat is he thinking...i vv san fu now =(

Sadness all day long~~~

Today,it just seems like everything bad happen on me..bf said that he wana break up...that really hurts me a lot...cried a lot too today...and another thing,i had car accident...mayb i wasnt concentrating on the road...i had minor injuries on my fingers,both my legs and a bit blue black at my neck.
Now...i'm both internally and externally hurt...but no matter how my external part hurt,it cant compare to my internal..today after bf said that,i dunno why my heart felt vv pain...not the pain caused by him or mayb is him...is like those heart attack kind and cried till my nose bleed and my eyes feel slightly pain...i guess i'll leave it lidat,dun wana consult a doc...i just wana leave this world for good...but how much i say or told him,he wud tot that i threaten him like wat he said today..
i dunno what more i can do to heal myself,though time is the medicine for now...it hurts a lot...all i can do is nothing,i felt that as though i'm useless in everything i do...
2 years back,we oso broke up at this vv month...i really hope we'll patch back...i love him vv much~~~ pls tell me what can i do to have him back..GOD,i beg YOU either to have him back wit any conditions i oso accept or give me up and take my life back...