Day 2 - Happy Birthday to me & Happy 2 month =)

Presents from my mates ^^

it's my birthday today~!!! yeap...dai gor lui jor...and mr president made me laugh by saying,"dai ka jie mann sui~!!"...lolz...my mates,cy,hl,wy and ck came over to my house this morning...they gave me a morning call...lucky them that i press the snooze button on my fon...or else,i'll know they're here and the surprise will be a failure...hehe...they came into my room while i'm still sleeping and they sang the birthday song to me loudly till i woke up...i almost burst into tears...i didnt see that coming...then i took my bath and get prepared to go for class...

we had breakfast nearby my hse =) then off we went to college...we did our practice cuz next week we'll be having MYOB test...i finished up my work early...so i took the cake and.....hahah...guess...no,i didnt eat it...i took fotos with it first...then we eat it...we didnt cut it into slices..instead,we took the fork and spoons and eat it up just like tat...we're sharing salivas~!! haha...

we left early cuz me,ck,wy need to go for training..and as for cy,she's off to work...i fetch lynn back home...thanks lynn for coming =) i was really sleepy...training was....erm...i dunno how to say it out...when it almost comes to the end,it's fun...playing a fool with tat funny calvin and he made fun of wy...lolz...went back home bout 5pm...it's raining~!!!

not much of it...took a nap...then woke up bath and go for dinner with my family...i'm having 2 cakes today~!!! 1 is from my mates...the other 1 is from my mum...

THANKS EVERYONE~!! I APPRECIATE IT ALOT~!! FOR THOSE WHO WISHED ME,THANKS FOR REMEMBERING =)

it's my first year birthday when i'm with sweetheart...but due to bie need to work,he couldnt celebrate it with me...sweetheart,dont you ever feel guilty alright? i never blame u and it's NEVER your fault...it's sth you cant change or do also...takkan you leave your work there? i rather u stay back and work...you owe me 1 celebration~!! blek...

ON THE OTHER HAND.....

HAPPY 2 MONTH =)

time felt so short,yet we felt like we've been together for so long...bie left me a msg in fb last night...it says,"to the one, it has been a very happy 2 months for me....i hope it is for u as well...being a part of ur life is my only wish this year...wtv tat is urs...i wana be a part of it... Happy Bday Sweetheart Jessie..."

sweetheart,i'm happy as well =) thanks bie for those wonderful wishes =) you're already a part of my life ever since you step into the door of my heart...i love you~

bie,i had a wonderful birthday with my frens and family celebrating it with me...however,it's still incomplete without your presence =( sigh...i dun care...you owe me 1~!! hehe..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

&

HAPPY 2 MONTH,SWEETHEART =)

Day 1 without my sweetheart...

i'm gonna update my blog every single day until the day i meet my sweetheart =) just wana jot down everything and things that happen in my daily life,in case i forgot...a way to show him how i'm doing every single day...but i dun think he'll have the time to read too...nvm it..i'll just write down first...

well,today i was late for class...i woke up late plus,i need to make up for interview...went for lecture as usual...talkative as well too...haha...talking to both hl and wy non stop...cy and ck didnt go for class...after class,i sat wy's car to go for interview...it was a success...after that,we picked cy and her dad up...and off we go to PAVILION~!!!! muahahha...

cy walked with her dad...and i walked with wy...we saw lotsa things and we thought of our bf...i went to a perfume shop to check on which perfume suits bie...i still prefer salvatone feragamo lar bie...cy's dad went over to sg wang and the 3 of us walked together...went to toilet again,the usual stuffs we do...TAKE PHOTOS~!! haha...

then off to dragon-i signature...have our brunch there...pic will be uploaded soon...why do they call it signature when it isnt any much different than the other branches...PLUS the services are bad~!!! PUI~!!! we took loads of pic while eating,before and after...

after that,we went over to sasa to get my birthday prezzie =) i love my prezzie lots~!!! thanks guys...without notice,it's been a year already...time passes so fast...in less than 2 hours,i'll be in age of 20 jor...the number will be starting from 2 d T.T so old...no more teenage years =(

it hadnt been a good year for me last year...hoping that this year will be better

tomolo will be the last day of me driving that proton iswara~!!! WUHOOOO~!!! dad opened up a new team of workers...so the new team needed that car...hahah...but i'll miss driving manual =( i'll drive that toyota wish to class,temporary...until then,dad will get me a new car...consider as a birthday present eh? heheh...i wan toyota rav4 (2 doors) pls...if L size (4 doors) oso can lar =) but if possible,get me the smaller one pls..i love 2 doors...hehe...i dun wan viva ar~!!! lolz...or get me suzuki vitara OR sth similar to the cars i mention...i wan WHITE colour car...ngek ngek ngek...sound so hyper now...in fact i am..

sweetheart,i'm wearing the shirt and pants that you borrowed me the other day...your scent..lolz...i'm missing you T.T sigh...i'm sitting here,wondering what you're doing there,how you're doing there..everything's going on alright? I MISS YOU~

i'm going back to hometown this sat for cheng beng...and bie is at genting...our distances are so close,yet so far...well,if compare to kl,it's way nearer...he'll come back...it's not like he'll be apart with me forever...i'll wait...

BUH BYE TEENAGE YEARS...AND HELLO THE NEW YEAR OF MINE STARTING FROM 2 =)

Updates...

from my previous post,i said bie will be working at Lot 10 for Earth Hour event...he was super duper tired from the voice i heard...and there's even a chance of him getting an accident...sigh...that night,i called him...he talked to me in a very harsh tone...which i never hear before...i'm heartbroken at that time...the very first time he uses this tone to speak with me...but a moment later,i started to think rationally,that maybe he's just too tired...he didnt have tat intention too...so i just let it go =)

28032010, Sunday : woke up kinda late...but hey! it's the oni day i can sleep whole day...had breakfast with the family at mutiara damansara...bie msg-ed me around that time too...he just woke up...i said i'll go over to his house to spend some time with him...and i get him breakfast too...there's nothing much that i could get for him around tat time...all that is left was chicken rice and economic rice...i chosen economic rice =) i went over after that...

everyone was home...bie was blogging that time...and he didnt wana continue cuz i were there...bish~!!! we watched an anime series called "gate keepers"...sweetheart ate while watching...he said that it was very delicious =) his mum did ask me to stay back for dinner...at first,i said that i cant cuz i need to go back early...but on 2nd thought,it's kinda manner-less rejecting everytime...so i stayed...this was the 2nd time having dinner with the family..

they had steamboat tat evening...his mum came into the room and asked me out for dinner when it's ready...sweetheart was snoring like a pig...haha...so i went out...his sist and mum asked me to wake him up...i did...but i didnt feel like doing so cuz he didnt sleep well for the past few nights plus,it's after an event last nite...

sleepy head did woke up...he was complaining to me,"i wana sleep..i dun wana eat...later later"...so cute...haha...thought of recording his snores to let him listen to it...but i didnt do it in the end...we sat so far away at the dinner table...i was sitting next to his dad and his parent's fren,an uncle...his mum kept taking those foods to me...i'm so pai seh at that time...seriously...after all,it's his parents...she kept asking me to eat more...and at last,i said that i'm full...every1 was,"huh?! you ate so lil only"...i just smiled and looked at bie...baby yana wanted to get off from the babychair and i asked her to finish up her noodle first...she's so obedient..she listens to me and ask me to eat oso =)

i went home after the dinner...on the way,i text-ed bie to ask him to thanks mummy,daddy and audrey jie on my behalf for the dinner..i wondered if he did so..if not,bishhh...this is wat i told him...on my way back,before i reached kl,i can see the dark clouds...the 2 tones is very obvious...scary...with lightnings and thunders...when i'm there,it rains...those big drop rains..went out with family and to night market with sister...guess who i saw there? i saw ryan's fren...jin chong and ah bui...OMFG...i dunno whether they saw me or not OR they just act like they didnt see me...wtheck..i didnt have the chance to say "hi" to them too...

off to mum's side..we wanted to scare her off...so my sist and i sneaked in from the other side...the workers did saw us but we say "shhh"...they smiled..haha...we hide at the counter and by looking at the reflection,we saw mummy coming and we stood up~!!! but it aint fun also..she doesnt go "HUH!!!!" shocking kind of look...instead,just the normal look and she smiled...the customers too..lolz...went home and watch movie while waiting for my sweetheart to reach home safely..he gave me a call bout 1am plus...i hadnt fall asleep yet...instead,i'm trying to upload my pics...i gave up...and i slept at 3sth...

29032010, Monday : woke up late...wanted to have a glass of strawberry milk before going to my class...but i'm 15-20 mins late already...i didnt have it =( have lectures early in the morning...i didnt concentrate much to it cuz i'm playing word puzzle with my frens...haha..i enjoyed it...will be continue-ing it tomolo oso =)

i went to treatment right after my class...there's so much blood around and i'm in pain...i wondered why this 2 weeks,my skin is so sensitive to it...i cant even walk or sit...i had my brunch when i'm home...online after that...pichas had been uploaded...now i'm waiting for wy's side for the rest of it =)

went to oldtown with sweetheart after he's off work...he didnt want to go back first cuz it's raining and for sure,kl will be jam...so he came over and he did his work...in the meantime,i'm onlining there...i drived his car back home bout 7pm plus to fetch my sist over for tuition...and i did bring a lappy for bie...after that,we went off to my mum's to pass sth over to her...baby went home after that...since he's wet and he had stuffs to do...in the coming weeks,both of us wouldnt be meeting each other cuz he'll be very very busy...it's a hectic month for him...will be going off to pavilion tomolo right after my class with mates to choose my present =) and i'll be having an interview tomolo...wish me luck~!!

sweetheart,i'll be missing you for sure...this is the first time we're doing this and i understands that everything has a first time =) until then,i'll have a date with you at mid valley alright? i love you~

psst...psst...btw,i felt sth wrong with my sweetheart...sth mysterious is going on...hehe...i guess it's my turn to be a secret digger eh? =P

vulnerable~~

wanted to blog the other day...but i was sooo lazy...and when i wanted to do so,the freaking line went down...damn it...

25032010 : my left arm is damn pain today...i wondered...i guess i really did hurt myself during the changing of tyre...sigh...honestly,at that time,i'm really so afraid..call me timid...but i am...but i cant do anything other than made things out MYSELF...sigh...not only this...there are much more things happened around me...in fact,i'm not as strong as how u picture me...even frens tot i'm stronger,much more independent...but i aint...i'm some one who relies on ppl i trust...some one who wanted protection...wasnt doing much today...went to kl for a road trip with my maid...to midvalley and then went back...around 10pm,doris called...alex's ex...went out with her...reach home bout 12plus plus...

260332010 : woke up early today...was really excited over a club night first time with wy and cy...had my piano class too...when i was there,i saw a new dog my teacher just bought...it's a white schauzer~!!! OMG~!!! full white is sooo rare...sooo cute...hahha...i open the kennel and play with it...then oni we start the lessons...she even had a rotweiler too...HUGE~!! but i love it too...i just love every animals~!! haha...after class,i played again...hehe...

when i was home,i online a while then i'm off to bed...suddenly,i thought of going early...bie came to fetch me...i said i wana drive,he said that let him fetch just in case i get drunk...i took a bath,dry my hair,put on my foundation...then baby came over...

when i reached his hse,open my make up bag...i was freaking shocked~!!! i didnt bring my eye lash glue~!! damn it~!!! that's the most important thing and yet i forgotten...oh well,gurls always have ways...i used stickers to make my double eye lid...as for the lashes,i put some water on it and tadaa~!!! it sticks...but i'm afraid that it'll fall off,so i took it off...bie said without those lashes,i still look alright...but i felt that it isnt a complete one...i hug baby and look at him in the eyes..hehe...he praised me,saying i had beautiful eyes =P dun laugh when u see this,and admit it...blek...and he kept complaining to me that,"haihz...dunno why you wana make up so nice...wana go kao zai lar for sure" haha...he kept making me laugh...silly sweetheart...

went i'm done,bie fetched me over to Gsix...went in,then go to toilet,borrowed the glue from cy and there goes...a complete one =) FINALLY~!!! then we linger around...took pichas in the toilet,outside the club and at the table itself...we changed the table after a while...bigger ones...a lot leng lui ar~!! beh tahan...saliva drips...lolz

songs werent good...so didnt get to shake till it was 12am...we went all crazy...haha...sweating lots...trying to seduce them...sitting on the speaker...bouncer kept asking are we alright...sooo nice of him...we went back bout 2 sth...cuz gillian's bf drunk already...and she didnt wana left us all by ourself...i asked bie come,but he didnt wan to..i insist~!! but still,sigh =( but i understands why he didnt wana go...nvm it =)

bie pick me up at south court...i'm already very dizzy when i'm in his car...nope,didnt vomit,no headaches...went home,removed my make up and chge into my pyjamas...i wanted to bath,but i'm lazy cuz of the dizziness...i slept under his arms again...it's so comfortable...i noe i'm like a baby...big baby =P

27032010 : bie fetched me home...and he need to go to his store...to work...tonite he'll be at Lot 10 for earth hour event...my stomach is upsetting me still...i guess i drink too much and didnt have my breakfast...when i was in the car with him,i told him bout our night...how good the bouncer was...kept asking are we alright...then he smiled...i ask him,"HOR~!!! ur spy?~!!" haha...indeed,that is his fren...no wonder sudd chge bouncer...no wonder we sat on the speaker oso didnt scold...other ppl sit,they halau pulak...bie,thanks for giving me protection...i dont know how to thank you...currently,waiting for the pichas to be uploaded =)

bie,i'm so sorry that i made you late...i didnt know u need to reach at 12pm =( i'm so so sorry...feeling really guilty now =( bie,i wana thank you for everything...to be honest,i felt that i'm falling back to square 1...like how i rely on my bf so much...sigh...i felt boys prefer independent gurls,eh? i'll change again =) i'm far too off my limit...u're gonna see a stronger darling =) i just cant go thru my own level...feeling annoyed with myself when i manja u too much...i wondered,if u felt that way too...sigh...anyway,i'll try to chge...currently i'm listening to "Hey Soul Sister"..it reminds me of you...the day we listen this song together,kept repeating..i'm already missing you now=( love you~

learning through the process of it...

suppose to wake up early today and study my TIA for the test tomolo...instead,i keep pressing snooze button on my handphone...that means,i slept over =( i've been kinda blur since monday...not to mention late...sigh...went to have breakfast with my maid...unfortunately,the shop isnt open today~!!! damn it~!!! so we went to the market and see what's available...have sth there...

went to college as usual...finish up our sample case today...owhhh!!! finally~!!! found out,the questions are very tricky...VERY indeed...and confused too...i'm stupid i guess...me and lynn non stop laughing when we found out what we did wrong..haha...

i went over to bie's house after class...objectives,was to study...cuz his house is located on the top of the hill...i get to breath fresh air with greeneries around at his balcony...ended up,i done nothing..instead,i slept~!! AGAIN~!! yes,a pig..haha..when i was there,bie told me his stories of the renewal of passport...sigh...i'm kinda fan for him oso =(

i went home in the evening...on the way home,i guess the cover of my rims fall...and tyre ran over it...my guess was,it's nothing...that was right after the traffic light outside bie's house...so as usual,drive home using kl route...on the way,i felt sth's not right...so i stopped at the side at jalan kuching...this is where i found out,the tyre's puncture~!!! i took a good look at it again...it wasnt puncture...it was scratched~!! i guess that it's came from the rim that fall off..

such a bad day for me...first,no breakfast...and then now the tyre like this...not to mention tat my fon had been inactive...cuz i asked louis chge to prepaid for me...well,i guess i've gotta do it alone...turn off the engine,on the hazard signals and get down...get everything out...it's so hard,the screw is so tight...and i look at the tools...finally,i can get the spare tyre out...

okay...the tyre was...so so...a bit heavy...but i manage to get it out...there's 2 guys sitting by the railings there...grrr~!! how un-gentleman they are...seeing me like this,they didnt help,instead they thought it was a good show...okay,a good 1 i'll gave u...ignoring them...i took the jack lifted my vehicle up

a few wrong tries...cuz the position of it was wrong...okay...trying to be patience,i took it off and do it again...trying to loosen up the screws from the tyres...i look at the tools again..it must the t-form tool...so i used it...and UH HUH~!!! i was right...then a motor came by...asking me,what happened...i said tyre puncture...

without any hesistation,he helped me...such gentleman he was...he even given me his name card,Mr Tony,i remembered...he helped me with the rest of it...i wanted to put the punctured tyre into the bunk...but it's so HOT~!! then he say,he'll do it..muahahha...so kind of him...i thanked him in the end...appreciate it alots...unlike the 2 guys there,sitting and watching~!!!

"jess, tell u honestly ho, i seriously dun like ur way of being so zzzzzz bei la, when talking abt ur body figure. Some outsiders thinking wat for u care abt it. not evy1's perfect wat. sometimes, when ppl din even mind abt ur body figure, u ady mind that urself 1st. u show to others u lack self confidence la, then only ppl look down on u, u jess, tell u honestly ho, i seriously dun like ur way of being so zzzzzz bei la, when talking abt ur body figure. Some outsiders thinking wat for u care abt it. not evy1's perfect wat. sometimes, when ppl din even mind abt ur body figure, u ady mind that urself 1st. u show to others u lack self confidence la, then only ppl look down on u, u get wat i mean?get wat i mean?"
above was from ck...well,i didnt like it as much as u do too...sigh...this sickness have been following me for years..in fact,i've been getting better ever since end of form 5 year...i'll be better ck...i promised...but sumtimes,ppl around that makes me feel like this...if it wasnt,i wouldnt have this sickness too...i'm not talking bout u guys...talking bout ppl in my past...currents? yes,there are too...but not as much and not as vulgar too...i'll try to cure it =)

i've hurt myself for chging those tyres...sigh...and i even get myself dirty...but it's a good experience =) you might ask,"how do u know how to chge tyre 1? normally gurls dont know" well,i have to thank my uncles and dad for it...daddy trained me before...and as for uncles,they chged it in front of me...so i noe the steps...but being a gurl isnt tat bad after all...i wouldnt get any help,if i wasnt a gurl...get the picture of it? NOT SEDUCING lar~!!! DEFINITELY NOT...some ppl,they thought of the female gender are always weaker than the male...so i guess that's it =)

Look at those dirty hands~!!

the clean ones...can you see red dotties?? well,it's not so clear from here...i'm still having them now...it was caused when i touched the hot tyre and got scratched from the dirty tyre

MIA?

MIA - Malaysian Institute of Accountants

MIA - Missing In Action

hahah...definitely is the 2nd one...hadnt been updating my blog ever since bie's birthday...well,i'm kinda lazy...and i'm trying to upload those photos...

20032010 : woke up late as usual...then i had to send my sist over for tuition and send them back...was suppose to go over to bie's but there isnt any car at home...in the evening,bie came over and fetch me...i wore sth improper,that's wat he say...then i ask him,where are we going to...kept asking but there isnt any answer from him...all he said was,it's surprise lar...and he kept complaining that he always saw me in heels...sorry bie,everyone knows i love heels till my room is full of it...and i told him that i'm gonna put my slippers in his car the next time...

i was sooo curious and afraid cuz he kept saying i wore sth unappropriate...sigh...but from the road he used,my guess was to putrajaya...and it is...hahah...they have this International Hot Air Balloon Fiesta going on...bie worried that i couldnt stand or walk...well,i guess i proved to him that i could..haha..i even walk on bumpy,full of stones path...champion leh? haha...we watched the beautiful fireworks together...

we went back to his place for a lil while and then off to mid valley to watch movie...baby wana watch daybreakers,but it's sold out...even my alice in wonderland too =( so end up,we watched "edge of the darkness"...bie said,the movie has no link with the title at all..and i couldnt agree more..

was suppose to yam cha with baby on the 21st right after his work...who knows,he went off early...sigh...and i was having dinner with family that time...i couldnt go off...bie understands...but somehow i felt guilty...the feeling was like,having a gf or not,doesnt have any differences...sigh...i'm sorry bie...

met my bie ytdy...went to big tree and yam cha with sun...while waiting to get his car back...i love the lil car...it felt so cosy...so near to my baby...haha...i know i'm silly...hehe..

in the nite...i read his super old blog...tat was in year 2006...yes,i admit...there's jealousy around...well,i coudnt help it...cuz ernest was so perfect...beautiful,slim,even her inner part too...he blog a lot bout her...or was it tat that make me jealous? bout how much he wanted her,helping her to search for a dog from so many pet shops to vets,this and that...baby did ask wat was it...then i told him everything...and i know it's not worth to be jealous over sth which is over...he did cleared my mind =)

bie,i'm so sorry for being jealous for sth which is not worth at all...but like what you said,if i aint sensitive,does it means that i dont have feelings towards you anymore? a normal gurl would be jealous...ernest is one,evelyn is the other...that's why i kept telling you the risk i had...i know,u said,"there's NEVER a risk AT ALL"...but i cant help it,feeling this way...i love you and i dun wana loose you at all...

sweetheart,i will hold on as tightly as i could...but there's a chinese saying,"when you hold to tight,it will die...when u're not,it will go loose and fly away"..i'm afraid that i'm either way..but no matter what happens,i'll be right here...dont worry my silly sweetheart,the jealousy wouldnt get in between us♥ this i promised you...

Happy 23rd,my sweetheart~!!!

my darling sweetheart,Happy 23rd Birthday to you~!!

a very usual day at college...it felt so windy...there isnt much ppl in college today...or is it i'm early? had excel class then TIA test...while walking back to my car,there goes the wind again...it felt so wonderful...i even felt like staying back...but i couldnt,cuz i have to rush home to have my breakfast and wait for my bie's msg...here goes...

i had planned a suprised for him like a month plus ago...somehow,it's too early and i still need to wait for his confirmation whether he's working or not on that particular day...therefore,i planned more than 1...just as a back up...the original plan was,to give him a surprise with a cake i baked on my own and without his notice,to celebrate with his family too...i would tell him,"i'm nearby your hse...come back home...then we shall have dinner together =)" with this,i'm very sure that he'll be going back home in order not to fail my plan...

weeks passes...and here we are...on the actual day...before the actual day,i did ask him to sms me whether will there be any shows going on the actual day before 12pm...why? becuz i wana bake the cake and sms audrey jie to tell her the plan is on as we pakat together...nope,it isnt in a rush...just taken a couple of hours only...i was waiting today...yet he didnt sms me so i decided to call up and ask...the answer was wat i'm hoping for =) hehe...so i started baking...this time,i chged the ingredients...to a coffee cake instead of choc...the coating of the cake was the same,choc...while waiting for the coating to be freezed,i took a bath and get myself prepared as bie told me earlier that his mum asked me to come along for dinner...

plan didnt go out according to how i scheduled it to be...first,his mum say wana go out for dinner...so bie wouldnt be coming home first instead we'll meet at the restaurant...2nd,i guess bie slightly knew wat i wana do already...my surprise plan had FAILED~!!! it failed like how ppl chop those "REJECT" sign on documents...but on the other hand,i'm happy still...cuz i'm the 1st one who celebrate his birthday with his family =) we went to SEOUL GARDEN (if i'm not mistaken) for our dinner...the food was quite good..but i somehow felt there's sth which is bothering bie...he looked diff...i asked,but he didnt mentioned it out...we went home after the dinner...i ask him again in the car...this time,he told me...silly bie,it's not something that you wanted it to be also...i dun blame you so dun be so fan anymore alright? i watch tv in the living room with his family members,and he's working in his room...after that,had a lil talk with him...went out,mummy asked to cut the cake...so i pulled andrew out and there goes...the lil ones sing the song...sigh...my surprise plan is a failure and so does my cake...it doesnt taste as good...tat's how i felt...i think,we shall take out the cake first for a lil while before eating..i went home after that,as it's kinda late...

Lil one posing for the camera =)

here's your birthday present...that's the only thing he asked...a kiss and accompaniment from his gf...my darling sweetheart,it's going to be a great year...the ones better than you had before...this i assure you =) i'm sorry that we celebrated your burfday like an ordinary one...i knew how much u wanted it to be big like the ones you had in so many years ago...but this is the only one i can afford to give you for now...hope you're happy =)

A lil story of us from the beginning :

we added each other ago,tat was way back...somehow,we didnt have the chance to chat with each other...up till recently,somewhere in jan...i'm having my finals and i'm staying up late as usual,i dunno wat came into me that makes me chat with him in fb..and here it is,the beginning of everything....

i remembered,on the 16th of January...we started sms each other...that was our first time sms-ing each other...i rmb tat nite,i was super hungry and dad wasnt home...i told him bout this and on the spot,he ask whether wana go eat or not with him tho he ate already...i rmb tat time,his niece was having a burfday party...so i said yes,cuz i'm really hungry and there isnt anyone to accompany me,yet meeting a new fren...we went to "de Pastry Chef" at manjalara...i rmb i even brought my law notes out to study but i didnt even had a chance to look at it...we were busy talking..haha...bout our pasts....from then on,he dated me out for movies...the first movie we watched was "The Legion" at 1u...for the 2nd movie,we watch "Haunted Universities"...before that,we had "zanmai sushi"...

tho i wana give it a try,but i'm also afraid that i'll hurt him like the ones in his past...up till one day,he came looking for me at times square as i'm shopping,we were suppose to watch movie at pavilion...but i'm lazy to walk over...so after i've done my shopping,we met up and we went to mid valley...we had korean cuisine as our dinner...after that,we watch "case 39"..the movie was a thriller...i even hold his arms becuz it's just so scary...after the movie,it's still early...he wanted to go for sing k...but i say,"it's sat wor...vv expensive one"...luckily he listens...upon no where else to go,we went back to his house...i rmb very well that his parents arent asleep yet...we watch "The Saw IV"...by then,he asked me a very simple question and i have to answer him like so many times...i guess he tot that he heard wrongly or he didnt get wat i meant...and so there we are...our first path...

on the 2nd of feb,he fetched me to putra bus station...that was very early in the morning...i felt kinda guilty...cuz he need to work too...yet,he didnt get enuf rest...until in the evening,i received a sms from him saying that he'll be coming up...he even asked whether is there anything that i would like to bring up or buy AND he even ask whether my frens the same too...he's aint selfish and being considerate too =) not only this...he asked the next day to follow his car down too..he even ask my frens to follow along too,but they didnt want to cuz they had already bought the bus ticket...

on the 16th at nite,he was with me at my hometown at my mum's side...he whispered,"baby,do you remember that on this very same date, it's our first time we sms each other"...i smiled from inside to outside...i asked him,"are you sure??" and then i checked back the msg,indeed it is...i'm happy...happy that he remembered...

he's someone who can really made me feel touched with his words and action...tho it's sth small,sth simple but it is what i want...he did it with his own will...most importantly,it's with his whole heart...

baby,i hope all your wishes will come true =) and i hope you passed your birthday happily...i'm sorry that as your gf,i couldnt give you what you want...i'm sorry that we celebrate it in an ordinary way and i know how much you wanted it to be big like the ones you had in the past..i love you~

Signed ::♥ Forever Yours♥ ::

AFA or AAC

back then,i decided AFA at the first place...right after the ACCA briefing...i remember,all of us were so anxious on this decision,saying how fast we'll graduate by then...but on the very next day,i still can recalled...it's the day,lynn went sad all day long...becuz knowing that her dad asking her to take AAC,following her sister footsteps,she oso feel secured by this way...after hearing what she told us bout wateva her dad said,i sort of,changing my decision to AAC...1st of all,it's becuz of the safer way,not so risky....2nd,yes...it's frens...i admit...by then,lynn was the closest to me after cy...and i felt that i dun wana risk my future just becuz of AFA,a faster way to graduate...

so then,i was in AAC decision already...but,something happened...something which is really unexpected...something that i dont want,my dad...he just kept going on fire that particular time...and i was so on fire too that i wana leave this house ASAP...so i told lynn the next day and the rest of the gang,that i'm going to AFA....the rest ofcuz,are happy becuz we're almost united...but still,deep down,we all knew tat lynn still couldnt come along with us,we're still sad...i remembered tat time,i tried to convince her to come along,stating all the benefits of it...at first,she wouldnt want to...but then,she had probs too...and she told me,she would like to come along...but still,it's under consideration...

many months back from now,she's still having the decision of being into AAC,just most of it,no matter how much she wana be in AFA...and i dont know wat came into me....and i told her,mayb i'll be going to AAC...

but still come back to present,our final decision is AFA...i chosen this not becuz of frens TOTALLY...just that,at first,this was my number 1 choice too...since the route of this programme is somewhat i preffered,i just go ahead with it...and another reasons ofcuz,staying with the same gang...not that i do not wana make new frens or wat,is that,we've been together with each other for so long...it's not easy having true frens...dun ever say that i went into this programme becuz of them...i chosen this mostly becuz i wanted my future to be better...

this is the last sem for us...frens are leaving,some chosen to stay...like wat ck said,they're like passers in our life,they come and go...i'm sad...becuz the time we spent together,everything we go thru,now,they're leaving...yes,gathering still may be organized..BUT will everyone attend? will everyone be free on the exact time and date? i shall enjoy to the fullest since it's the last path we'll be going thru togeher...MATES,I LOVE Y'ALL~!!! WE SHALL KEEP IN TOUCH OK?!

ABRSM...

today,i went for my piano exam...the one i took is ABRSM (Associated Board of Royal School of Music) not Trinity...i told my teacher bout this Trinity and i asked her why she didnt let me go for this one instead? all she answered was,the standard set was really low...u'll do Trinity during diploma bcuz ABRSM ones are much tougher...well,i sort of can do...just a lil bit of un-sure kinda feelings...i sat exactly for 3 hours...butt gonna grow bigger,is it sth real or it's just a saying? i'm so tired,bcuz i didnt get some sleep...weather was great...it rains cats and dogs the night before...everyone get to sleep in comfy in such weather except me =(

i'm still waiting for the feedback of my part of my assignment from hl...and waiting for bie to finish up his lunch...to go up and meet him =) while waiting,i'm here to blog...but that's so far for now...will continue it up when i'm able to online at his place =)

bie started working since ytdy's afternoon...at KL Live for Placebo...the actual date for it is tomolo,tuesday...bie went off work early today...he said,those caucasians had done system checking...so tat's it for today,he said...he wanted to go for a swim,but i guess cuz of my appearance,he's lazy already...lolz...i went over just to meet him for a couple of hours only...you may asked,lidat oso can? well,why not? cuz i missed him badly...we slept in each other's arm...the comfy i felt,it's beyond words to describe it...i just love the way he hug me...

i just reached home after stopping from the above and i found out :
something embarrassing i did today...i wrote "summon" on a piece of paper and i place on his windscreen...it was meant to make him laugh BUT at night,when they went for dinner,his mum saw it~!! OMG~!!! i dunno how will i face his mum again...she didnt went angry as she's very strict and i am afraid of her.....instead this time,she smiled asking him,why your gf so cute wan...but still...it's sth embarrassing =(

every now and then...

12032010 : bie went to neway,1u...to have a farewell for yeow and weng...both of his colleagues...it was right after he went off work...so it was bout 6 plus in the evening...he asked me to go for a movie...i did say yes,bcuz i just missed him so much..he did asked me to join him in sing k too..but i didnt want to becuz i dunno how to face all his frens again...we watched "green zone"...the movie was kinda okay for me...gotta understand the story first...bie explained everything to me as usual,it never gets bored at all...movie finished around 1.30am...his colleagues are still in neway,so we join them back..yes,there's a moment i kept pulling his hand..he asked wat happened...but i dunno how to tell him and i just bring my guts ahead of me and go on into the room to meet his frens again..but we went home a short while after...

bie read my blog ytdy,cuz i used his phone to post it up...he did asked wat way...at first,i chosen not to say,it's becuz,it is sth i mentioned before and i knew he wouldnt agree much...but he kept asking..."liposuction,plastic surgery?" he asked...and i asked him back,how do those both secured us both? haha..silly bie...at last,he guessed sth much similar to it,close enough...then i told him everything...we drive our own car...on the way back,we sms each other bout this...it is sth i expected...but i guess it's alright...after all wateva he said is true too...

13032010 : went for piano class again early in the morning...had a great breakfast,thanks to dad =) dad went out for work...so,here goes my responsibilities again...fetching sist...i brought bebe choc to the vet today...let's hope it's ntg big...doc say there's few possibilities... 1st,afraid that his spinal cord is changing...2nd,might be his behavioural prob (sth like illusion or "yam yeng") due to him going out frequently,might get hit by others...3rd,he's getting old...so the bone might be changing...but doc say possibilty 1 is out...cuz she touch and bebe doesnt have those kinda big reaction...she gave bebe some painkillers...let's hope he'll be better..sigh..

bie came and fetch me around 7sth...we went for dinner...at the famous beef noodle in jalan aloh...owhh,how i miss the taste...i didnt been there for years already...was suppose to watch movie,but i dun feel like it...so we went back to his house and watch "The Saw VI"...this movie reminds me of how we started our relationship...it's sth memorable =)

another thing that makes me happy today is all of sudden,bie said wana bring me go out along with ah toh...his brada...i'm happy bcuz,it is some one he respect very much and some one who is important to him...so it is as important for me to meet such ppl =)

this,i am very sure..a place in your heart...yes,i'm happy and i'm loving every seconds of it being close with you =) I LOVE YOU

Signed :: ♥ Forever Yours ♥ ::

the rain pours for me...

didnt have any classes today...it's damn hot in the afternoon...i even got a headache for it...wth wei...yes...it is serious...damn pain...but still,i went for my piano lesson as my exam is on the coming monday...sigh...nope,dun ever ask me to take medication...i dont~!!! not even panadol..well,as hard necked as u called me,i still had my reasons for not taking it unless it's serious...

for so many hours,i'm still having headache now...suddenly,my area is covered with dark clouds...they're really dark and big too...tat was around 6pm...when i was driving home and while i was stuck in the jam on the top of the bridge,i saw how big the dark clouds are...i wonder till where it is covered...

from my previous post : as i were saying,i wanted to call my frens out for yam cha...i recalled 1 person...whom me and sun knew...so i asked both of them...but yt couldnt make it...so it was just me and sun...

it started like when she asked,when yt's coming,where's andrew...stuffs lidat...she told me a lil of her and where's she's going later...stuffs lidat...she asked a lil bout me too...then slowly,i told her wat is happening...i told her how i felt and what i'm afraid of...

she replied me by saying andrew isnt lidat...and even if he is,she'll think he's a bit narrow minded...more or less,it's just sth lidat...she tried to calm me down,telling,he wouldnt mind...i said,even his hackers frens oso say lidat and they're all so closed to each other...this is wat i'm afraid tat will influence him...she said no more...cuz she knew how much they went thru together and how close they were like how i do...sigh..i didnt called bie cuz i know he is drunk...

11032010 : was a vv usual day...but i am moody..hl,if you're reading this,i wana tell u,i aint angry at u lar k? no worries...just tat sir went too fast,i couldnt follow up,and there goes my attitude...sitting alone or not,is the same for me...as u can see,i can still turn the pc to u at 180 degrees...hahah...so no worries larr...

went to old place to have breakfast wit ck,ed and kw...all guys...hahha...they asked me to go bowling too..but i'm lazy and i didnt know how to play...so i went home after that...in the night,bie told me everything bout wat happen on ah toh's wedding day...stuffs he did...never gets bored at all =)

then he told me one thing...one thing tat i'm kinda shocked...his frens told him tat he scolded them when he's drunk...i even saved up the whole conversation...more or less lidat...he said,he was so pissed that he told me...that he made me sad...

however,i felt...he should have tell me,no matter wat...i'm getting over it already...after hearing what sun told me,i felt relieved and wateva he told me last night...BUT,i still am going for liposuction...mayb not if i can achieve wat i wan...so that's it for now...i'm going for a movie with bie later =) miss him till i have to hug my pillow as tho i was hugging him...hahha

today,the rain pours for me...it's as tho it is telling me to let it all out...just until the rain stops,there is when i had to stop too...as silly as it seems,but sometimes,i felt that the weather chges as it's related to me...

bie,can i have u for myself only? i found a way to secured both of us...well,at least i felt secured this way...but it is a way that you wouldnt like it...so shall i tell you or is it best that i keep it for myself? i know i'm selfish,but i cant help it...the things i went thru,there's no other way to made me feel secured other than this...i know,even u havent start complaining...mayb we're different...different as in,you can moved on quicker than i do...will you help me? i love you as much as you do...maybe even more than you do...so will you?

Signed :: ♥ Forever Yours ♥ ::

still...

right where i stopped ytdy...i slept early last night...i guess i'm really exhausted...i thought i'll be alright this morning...a new day begins..but somehow,i wasnt...still emo,still sad...woke up at 9.30am and brought my maid to have breakfast together...i told her everything...i'm really sad...just cant get over it yet...she said,if he mind,he would have dump u earlier...after tat,i'm heading to college...

as usual...chit chats...bie did msg and asked whether i'm alright...i am,but i'm just still sad...i didnt wana ruin his mood for today as it's a big day for his brada...i fetched hl home after our class...and i told her everything in the car...she asked me not to worry as andrew wasnt tat kind...if he is,what can u do? she asked...i kept quiet...i told her i'm afraid...sigh...distance was a short one...before i could finish everything,we reached her house already...i'm not going home after tat...

i'm home bout 6pm...i'm still complaining to my maid while i was having watermelons as my dinner...i asked her to have a walk with me...baby choc came along too...baby was hyper...cuz he just loves going out...capture a few pics...

online when i'm home and had a chat with ck...told him everything...and he said,"just ignore them lar...you're ANDREW'S gf...not theirs..." and he even said that if he really loves me,he wouldnt care but i knew bie did mind a lil or i shall use the word dislike when ppl say it..bcuz it is sth he cant chge,tat's wat bie told me...ck told me not to tell him tat i'm going for plastic surgery...i said i will...just a matter of time...he even scolded me,"wth wana go suck your lipids"...cuz i did say i wana do liposuction...sigh...

i thought of some one...louis...he did msg me and ask where am i earlier today when i was having class...he told me he didnt work cuz he's sick...then i called him up after the conversation i had with ck...i ask him to read my blog...but he's lazy...so ended up,i told him everything...i cried on the phone too...he just convince me and asked me not to cry...i just cant help it...it hurt alots,this i told him...he said,"you're MUCH MORE slimmer compared to last time...and you have a pretty face too...it's nothing you cant chge...just keep it up" this he tried to support me by emphasizing the word..i said,"but andrew didnt know how i looked or how fat i am before"...i even told him tat his frens said the same thing before,just tat i acted i dont know...he giggled...and said,"how do you know..." i said i can feel it...he just kept saying,they didnt...i just kept crying over the phone...tears wouldnt stop...but somehow,he tried to make me smile by making silly noises...i did...but it was just a lil while and i continue crying...sigh...we hang up after that...

i even stopped reading the book called "Nobody's perfect"...becuz i realized,ppl just cant accept the fact of it...and they live in the world of their own,seeing perfect body gurls and presentable looks...what's the point of continue reading it when the reality isnt like this? i was half way thru but just...i couldnt continue...i wana be prefect~!!!

i knew,i must overcome this by myself...but i still cant for now...i bet he's having a good time now...being a drunkard...i didnt wana ruin his mood...so i guess,i'll find someone to yam cha later...wanted to look for jl,but he had a gf...it doesnt look right...i guess i'll look for other person to lend me a shoulder...sigh...

while i was driving on the way back home today,i realize how brightly the sun shone..it's as though the sun smiled for me...but at the same time,there's hazes...hazes in my life,that makes my way blur...i couldnt see the future anymore...my dreams are crashing slowly like cracks on the mirror...

she's crying silently now...she hopes her dreams will come thru just like how she wanted it to be...with person whom she wants...she had him in her dreams of future...but will it? how is she gonna work it out,she asked...she promised herself not to cry over spilt milk and that her future will be better and she'll work it out to make sure it does...but only till today,she asked herself back,how is she gonna work it out? she knew she would hang on till the end of everything...even all these challenges,it gets harder at each level and it doesnt care whether u completed the before's...she still will overcome it toughly...no matter how much of it,how long it takes,how tough it is...she still will...

Signed ::♥ Forever Yours♥ ::

Depressions~~

In the past few hours : i was having a morning class today...went up to genting with bie,meng and toh's wife and her family...the wife of toh's and her family went to theme park and play...i guess meng was with them...as for me and bie,we went to "ripley's believe it or not"...i like it there...knowing stuff which is extraordinary...after that,meet up with meng again to play bowling...bie and i went to starbucks to online and as for meng,he headed to the first world's cc...i wasnt feeling really good...headache and neck ache...sigh...we went home bout 3sth almost 4pm...as usual...i told him the same thing and ask him something...something which i felt in my past 2 previous post...

Currently : i just reached home...emo-ing now...in my life's,there's been heartache and pain..i dont know if i can face it again..and today,i found out tat being into a relationship is not just a matter of 2...it's also the matter of everyone around the couple....such,being accepted by them and getting their blessings and stuff lidat OR being rejected by them and hearing stuff which hurts alot...i get used to hear stuff like this already...and the matter which worries me now is,whether such ppl can influence the other half? mostly,it's a yes...the confidence that i slowly gained back all these years had all gone just by a second like that...

haihz...i cried in the car and i'm crying even now...why is it so hard being accepted?! cant they just think and stand on this side and see,feel and hear everything like how i did...i know,wat's the point of crying...but i just cant accept it...just allow me to have a few moments of this...i tried my best...it's not that i want it to be this way also...in the past,bcuz of this,i hadnt eat until i had gastric...till then,i ate but i vomit it out right after tat...so now wat?! want me to repeat the past again? i'm thinking of upgrading my treatment...but,financial prob...i guess,i shall work again...when i work,i'll slim down like how i used too cuz of tired moments and kept standing whole day...then with the upgraded treatment and repeating wateva i did in the past,i guess it'll speed up the process...

if all this still doesnt work,i'm going for liposuction...there's 1 doc in kl town...i knew...and my mum knew another 1 too...shall consult them...i realize,in this world,physical looks are always the priority to ppl instead of the personalities...i'm really tired of all this...it's my last option anyway...

i think i shan't meet bie for a lil time...until i get my target...anyway,he'll be busy too...i dont know how long this will be taking...but i'm sure,wateva i'm thinking now,it's just the way i express how i felt and it's always been negative...i do wana think positive too~!!! but how can i,under this situation?! maybe tomolo when i wake up in the morning,i'll be alright...but i know for now,i aint...perseverance,patience,acceptance...

Just let me be the way i am now...let my tears roll down my cheeks how much i wanted them to...i just need a moment for myself...dont worry...i'm still strong =) a person is ready to hear the critics when they started to ask the questions of "do you mind? what you think? Am i like that? Why everyone walks away from me"...tat's why i asked...

it hurts...even tho i'm used to it already...my heart...the pain in it...it's beyond words to describe it...try to feel me for once,pls...

the ups and downs during this 2 days...

06032010 : a very normal day for me...woke up really very late...bie's still up at genting...getting ready for the show...it's Day 2...went to shopping with lee von at the pyramid...we had our brunch at sakae sushi...then we went into nichii...i brought a long shirt which is suitable for clubbing and casual wear...even formal look is okay...then went into sasa and brought a nude bra for tat shirt...

at night just had dinner with family...wanted to go clubbing actually and partay real hard...one of the reason is because of bie...he commented sth which i dont really like...it gaves me a kind of sharing feel...yes bie...i really hate it...it's as tho i'm sharing...even tho i knew the truth...but we worked sth out...but,that's really you...just kept being yourself...i went for a movie with family called "confucious"...well,if you knew chinese,it's a great movie actually...but the subtitles were changing soo fast and even the words they talked is so tough...so,for a banana like me,i found it a level in between okay and bad...went home after tat...i didnt club becuz,the issue was solved..slept around 3sth..i was waiting for bie to reach home and gimme a call =)

07032010 : i woke up real early today...at 8.30am...yes,i'm sleepy too...but cant help it..i'm having piano lessons...and the lesson ended at 12sth almost 1pm...and i havent even eat my breakfast~!!! so sanfu...like mental block...cant even think...then i told teacher,finally,she allows me to leave and she laugh,saying no wonder the more i do,the more mistakes...haha...bie msg me around tat time...right after my class ended,i called him...he just woke up...i know he's really tired working for long hours...i went home and bath...went for brunch with family then brought sist to cut her hair...

after that,i hurried to his hse...he asked me to buy sth for him to eat as he hadnt had anything...i did buy him char siew rice...lolz...he was gaming tat time...i wanted to nap a lil while...but somehow,i just cant fall asleep...after he's done playing,i open up my laptop...then uses his to on9...to do some assignment discussions...it was a vv brief one...

the first thing when i came online....the first ever chat box was from winne chin,yes...it is louis gf...and the first thing she ever asked was how was me and my bf...b4 i get to answer it,she told me tat she know him and chat with him b4...this and that...the ever same thing she did b4 this,when she took louis away from me...it's EXACTLY the SAME~!!! i knew sth would happen next...i would really do anything to not let her take away my drew...not this one...tho bie said i was one oso...saying everything wouldnt happen if i ignored her...bie,i did wana ignore...but everything just happen too fast and i get to see everything she wrote...after that,i went home cuz i'm having dinner with family...while on the way back,we're sms-ing each other...worked out this issues too...

i shall apologize bie...i'm sorry...for making you felt tat i dun trust you...it wasnt you whom i dont trust..it was her whom i dont trust at...or is it the secured feeling wasnt there...i'm sorry bie...but i just cant help it acting like this...mayb after ever since tat incident,i'm more aware,more sensitive towards issues like this...mayb i just wana be protective..tho my love life wasnt like yours,for so many times,and mine was just twice,it hurts lots...especially when the bf is you...i dun wana loose you like how i told you my future plan with you in it...i do noe guys are afraid when we gurls mention stuff like this...but u asked me to be honest...so i am...in fact,i'm serious in every relationship...i wana go long...and this time,it's with you whom i wan...

i'm gonna donate my blood tomorrow...this is my 2nd time =) i'm happy...bcuz knowing that my blood will help ppl...and guess wat?! my exam results are releasing tomorrow~!!! so like wat i said,after donating blood,then check result...if get shock,confirm faint d...lolz...sigh...wish me luck for my results...i just wan every single of my subjects to pass...tat's all i'm asking...

bie,seriously i am sorry for what i did...being stupid and dumb...i dont know how to clear this wounds of mine...they're so deep...you're my heart,and you knew why i said that,right? i really am afraid of loosing you...you're my weakness...i knew if one day,you're aint here with me anymore,i'll fall even harder than ever...
"The greatest distance on earth is neither north nor south...it is when i am right in front of you and you do not know that i love you...baby,i'm sorry"

I LOVE YOU

DAY 1~~

i know it's already past 12am...but just allow me to post bout 5th =)

05032010 : didnt have class today...and i woke up very late...bout 12.30pm...i'm really very tired...mayb i didnt had enough sleep the day before...as i mention in my previous post,i woke up very early in the morning,went out the whole day...then at night,i watched the "Book of Eli" with bie...he made it and i'm glad =) back to today...i went for piano lesson,having trial exam again...then off to my treatment...

well,today is the first day without my bie...he went up to genting...to work ofcuz..will be back on saturday...midnite...sigh...it's gonna be the 1st saturday ever without him and i know,there's gonna be lots of it too sooner...it's gonna be a long year for him...

my plan was,to call up my frens to go for club...since i hadnt been into any for a month plus...i soooo wana go to phuture...but only particular frens can bring me in =( sigh...but too bad...i guess my plan need to be postpone...cuz daddy said he wanted to watch movie..so i'm ok with tat...since bie wasnt around and i hadnt accompanied dad for a while...so i said okay...he bought the ticket already...so there's no turning back...speaking of which,i've never been to clubs with bie...i'm hoping to go with him one day...wonder how is it gonna be like...

sigh...i'm really so heartbroken today...it aint cuz of bie lar...it's cuz of my bebe choc =( he's sick...and i dunno wat kinda sick is it...when i carry him,he screams "eek eek" lidat...my heart felt so pain when i heard it...it's really hurting him...i'm gonna bring him to the vet tomolo...hopes that the clinic is open for business lar...sigh...i love my bebe a lot...i dun wan anything to happen to him...i wan him to stay as long with him...yes,i know i'm selfish...but tat's how i am ok? and i know i'm not being rationale...like how others think,they're just animals...but to me,he's more than that...he's my companion..loyal to me and all...i rmb last time,when i fell down...my knees were scratched with lotsa blood...he came near me looking at those knees...i was so afraid tat he's gonna lick it...but he didnt...after looking,he just sit beside me...kinda like asking me to stay strong...i love you bebe...pls stay strong...mummy will be bringing you to consult the vet asap~!!!

a lil bit of spice...

03032010 : bie was working as usual and so am i,having my daily routine...he wanted to watch the "Book of Eli" very much but i hadnt got any time to fit in...like how i said it in my previous post...having responsibilities...we wouldnt had meet each other ytdy...suddenly,my dad told me,"rmb to fetch your sist later...i'm going back to hometown"...when i heard tat,i was jumping up and down inside...yes,bie was at his hse...so after fetching sist,i went to meet him up =) bie asked me watch "The Saw VI"...but then,i told him,"i dont want to...i want to spend more time with you...movie,i can watch anytime" =) yeah,we had our chats...i even brought the other half of that cake to him...yes,i bake but i dun eat...weirdo...haha...

04032010 : i woke up hell early today...at 7.15am,slept around 2sth last nite...the reason why i woke up so early bcuz,i need to make up and dress up for today's outing...bie was early too...but still,i'm late for class...luckily,it havent started yet...today,i did sth which embarrass me...lynn praised me saying that my thighs are MUCH smaller already...so i went into hyper mode,jumping up and down,doing silly moves...i forgotten that there were a few ppl from other class and so coincidently,a guy from that diff class was looking at me...blushing till i went under the table...haha..we went to old place to had our breakfast...the usual gang...but this time,with chai yong and ah wei joining...all together was 8 persons...every1 hop-ed into my car,ck,hl,chai yong and ed...wy,cy and ah wei came to join us later bcuz they wanted to collect the cake and had a surprised for ck...

kl was jam today...and i'm kinda so fucked up cuz i'm driving manual~!!! ISH~!! but just a lil while lar...we went to collect our room first...then i started to pick songs...a moment later,wy they all came...we sang the birthday song and took some pic...after that,ck open up the present..TADA~!!! inside the box,there wrote,"COUPON FOR CHEE KIT,to claim new pair of shoes" haha...good idea right?! i forgotten whose was tat...singing session ends at 4pm...they went to buy the shoes...me,hl and chai yong headed home early...i was really sleepy and felt a lil bit of dizzy-ness today when i was driving home on the MRR2...luckily,i manage to reach home safely...

later i'm going to watch movie with bie...but he's not sure whether they can off work early...so i'll just wait =) starting today onwards,everything will come and my bie,will be busy as before...sigh...i surely will miss him a lot =( coming sat,bie oso will not be free...so i guess,i need to call my frens up and see whether they're going to club or not...hehe...it's been a month plus i hadnt had a night club life...or mayb,i'll just stay home...doing some revision for my coming piano exam and finish up the assignment...

i guess,a lil separation will be good for us...so that he wont be bored of me...and another thing is,we'll miss each other more...there's a particular place for each other in our hearts...by this,i guess we'll appreciate each other EVEN MORE =) bie,do you agree?? that's how i felt,but bie,i'm never bored of u...dun worry...i miss you now too...

here are the pic i promised =) enjoy :

The trial writting with white choc

Another try...

The final touch~!!

yeah,i know...it's ugly...sigh...first time baking birthday cake mar...it's not easy making those choc smooth...but,i shall give it another try =)

all about him...

on the 01032010 : you know wut? bie told me that he had a surprised for me ytdy...and he said he got stuffs to do later at home...without any curiousity,i trust him as i always do..he told me he's drawing...so as usual,i tot he's doing his work...

a moment later,he msg me in msn and ask me to go to his blog and have a view...well,i did...i was really surprised...he did the header which have both our pic for me...i was really happy...thank you bie =)

02032010 : i woke up very early today...slept late again last nite...had a morning class then after that,had my piano lessons...piano theory exam is here already...it's on the 15th =( sigh...hope i can do it...i went for treatment after that...then came home...without any reasons,i had his surprise to run a test trial =) my gang will be the white rats..hahha...but so far,it passes lar...cuz the ever so fussy sist also said it's nice =)

03032010 : i'm happy...i just came back from sing k at neway with bie and his colleagues =) it's already 1am plus...i'm waiting for him to reach home...to make sure he's safe again...sigh,yes i know...i know i'm kinda over...as in,too paranoid...but tat's me =( i'll try to change...i dun wan him to feel any tension from me...as i know that he had already has lotsa things on his mind...especially his job...that's why i dun wana make it worse...i just hope that he'll be comfortable and happy when he's with me...

i did pass him some of the cake to let him try the taste and whether that he found it to his liking or not =) well,he said yes...but i'm not so sure...bcuz the deco is sooooo ugly...i'm gonna think of other things mayb...diff flavours? coffee,his favourites...and try to design sth better =) from lynn,she asked me to draw a coke...it's a bit of the challenge...as u see,writting his name itself is already so difficult..but ntg is impossible mar rite? hehe...but i hope he'll forgive me as this is my 1st time baking a birthday cake...yes,i did brownies and simple cakes in the past...but not sth like this...i'll upload both the sing k pic and the cake pic tomolo =)

bie,pls dont think tat i'm making myself troublesome to make you happy...DO NOT EVER THINK LIKE THAT~!!! it is not troublesome...and even if it is,i feel that it is worth of...seeing you happy is all i want and when you're happy,that makes another person feel happy too =) thanks for the header still...i love it~~ i'm missing you every single minute...you made me fall for you and now,you made me go crazy over you~ i still miss you even when you're by my side...that's the reason why i kept looking at you...when you're driving,when you're walking with me at the park,when you're singing k,even when you do something with your laptop,i still wana look at you...i wana remember every second i have with you...i wana appreciate every moment and i do hope time will pause for me whenever i'm with you...

I LOVE YOU

01032010

first day of march...i dont know how to express my feelings this morning...kinda happy..but not as hyper =) the weather today is cloudy yet warmth...i like it...tat's the best weather to go for a swim...

bie worked half day today...afternoon shift...cuz last nite they worked till late...so,i asked to have lunch with me...he did...i was happy...but he's in a bad mood...bie,i wana apologize thru here...though i'm not the main 1 who did it,but still,i made it from bad to worse...there's where the fire gone bigger...i'm sorry bie and thank you for coming by...

tat's the first time my bf came by to my college...among all =) brought him to see my frens...we had lunch at cannes tea house...yes i know...it aint delicious...but it's convenient cuz it's nearer and cheaper...bie suggested to go to four season...i hadnt been there for a period...i miss there...so bie,we shall go there next time k?

bie left after that...off to work,and as for me,went back to college...for group discussions...when bie's off work,he came by for yam cha...cuz i really wana noe what's the big news tat he wana tell me...i'm really curious...really anxious...really afraid of it...lolz...though i had a feeling on his work...but still,i'm really anxious to noe it...

bie went home after that...cuz i need to fetch sist...and he got sth else to do...sth tat his dad asked him to...was suppose to watch movie with him...but i really cant..cuz i had responsibilities for this family...as the eldest sist...sigh...seriously,i feel guilty...as a gf,i'm a failing one...sigh...once again,sorry bie...

another thing,i guess i'm happy cuz it's march...the birthday month for both bie and i...ngek ngek ngek...i hope my surprise will be a successful one...yeah bie,tho u noe i'm giving u surprise BUT u aint knowing when i'm giving the surprise to you and dont even know wat i'll do...hehe...so,dun brag tat u knew..blek =P