when the hero comes along..

you're just like a hero to me...yes,you know who u are...everytime,when i'm in doubt,you'll always tried to convince me to give you hints to open the previous post and the ones before...well,he always wins...

the same always,i'm afraid that after him reading it,it'll bring problems to him...yes,it did...but in another way,it clears my mind off...being a simple guy he is,now i know,he wouldnt let anything that will destroy our relationship to come between us...and for that,i love you♥~

for twice i've been wrong and mistaken for everything...for twice,i've felt the guilt...and this time,it's even more...as for the part where i misunderstood of going to her place,he's been working hard lately to get what i want,which was a laptop...just to get what i want...i never thought he remembered...i was happy to hear that,but at the same time,the guilt i felt,its painful...

he had his points...for i never ask him,i wouldnt know what was going on actually...and for that,my questions left unanswered...at times,i give myself my own answers without even realizing it,then more questions came on and i'm back to square 1 again...he's right...
he's not just a bf to me...he's a very special one...

having doing the same mistake for twice,the guilt i felt...and for all he was asking,i'll give him this time =) telling him what's on my mind,what's making me feeling this way and such...it was called honesty to him...and i know,i was wrong on my thoughts...

sweetheart,i know i've been apologizing a lot lately...but i'm really sorry that i created even more problems to you...there wouldn't be a next time anymore...i love you...u've a short term memory loss,like me too,i never thought that you'll remember small things like that...in return,i'll give you what you've been asking for,since long time...i'm sorry =(

a post i've read from vincent's blog...and i'm gonna quote sth from there...because,it's meaningful and sth true that i've gone thru too...

"building up a relationship is like building up a castle.
how much time do you need to spend on building a castle?
how hard do you need to work to build up a castle?
how much effort do you need to pay in order to build a castle?

so hard, so much time, so much effort you need to pay on that castle.. sure its happy to see the progress improves everyday as you give out everything you've got just to build this one and only castle.
but.. what if it just collapsed as the earthquake strikes? you've given out anything, everything just for this castle, and now its gone within a second. can you imagine how does it feel when you lost everything you have just within a second? no words can ever describe the feelings and you are just so helpless to do a thing to help yourself.

im not so strong to build another castle instantly as i already lost everything i've got. i need time to rest, i need time to regain my confidence, i need time to heal my broken heart, and most importantly, i need time to forget...
i smile, it doesn't mean that im happy.
i laugh, it doesn't mean that i have no sorrows.
i did not frown, it doesn't mean that im alright.
i did not cry, because i know tears wouldn't bring you back to me."

a very simple example of building up a castle may relates to relationships...just a part of it i've quoted...and it's all written to express his feelings...for the last part,last sentence,he's right bout it...no tears would bring the other half back to the one waiting...everyone was the same...no matter how much you cry,when it's gone,it's really gone...

for how much i've lost in the past,it came to make me realize that appreciating whateva i have NOW is the most important...what's the point of lookin back when you have the best right in front of you,right?

and to everyone out there,never take the other half as granted..NEVER~!!
i've been there...not the one who take the other person as granted...but as the one who's being the other way round...treated me as if he's granted for me...trust me,tho he didnt say it out,it's a feeling u can feel and it doesnt feel good...it's similar to those feeling who ppl just used you to achieve what they wanted...

right now,right in front of me...andrew K.L. Koh,was the one...the one i've been long searching for..and for the time i've wanted to give up,the time i've realized one who doesnt exist,he came into my life bringing me all the hapiness i want...

just wana say,i'm proud to have you,my sweetheart...

I LOVE YOU

Signed,

Forever Yours~

♥♥♥

slowly...she's broken inside

saturday : went for piano lesson early in the morning,then straight off to work after that...work till 7pm only i get to off...was seriously tired cuz i didnt get to sleep much this few weeks...and i was STARVING cuz i had my breakfast at 7am and i didnt eat my lunch...until then,i had my dinner with my family...tho i'm starving,i still didnt eat much...wondered why...i was craving for tao foo far too...but too bad...there's no more room for it and it had already been sold out =( i was home all night long...resting and watching DVDs...till late night...

sunday : i had my breakfast with my family...and as i promised baby boi,i will gave him the whole day...went over to his place in the afternoon...when i was at the carpark,only i know that he wasnt asleep yet...looking at me into my eyes,telling me how he miss me...oh bie,the way he say it,it's with so much feeling...i cuddle him into his sleep...i slept too cuz i still didnt get to sleep well the nights before...

i had this NIGHTMARE...whereby,we had this reunion lunch...there's so many ppl...from my side to his side...everyone was there...this restaurant we're in,it's sooo fancy and it looks like luna bar...it had more than 1 floor...we had our lunch...then all of sudden,i ran out to this huge and beautiful garden...standing in front of a grave of someone i knew and i cried as hardly as i could...andrew saw that but he just didnt give a damn bout it at all...watching me crying then he left...he left me forever...i was sooo heartbroken that i woke up...i felt my face with tears...real tears...and i felt relieve that it was a dream after all...i couldnt sleep back right after that...just watching andrew sleeping...

got up to online a lil while then i wake him up...we went to mid valley for movie...watched "THE CRAZIES"...a great movie...this movie,was similar to another movie i watched long ago...forgotten the name...before that,i went to PUMA and i found the jacket i wanted...this time i wore M size...i was sooo happy...haha...but i still havent decide whether to buy or not...bie brought me to CONVERSE to show me the shoe he wanted to buy...before leaving,OMFG~!! i saw jackets again...the white one was having the gold lining and as for the black,silver lining...i just cant make up my mind yet till today...all 3 of them had the same price...sigh...hard decision ar~!!
i told bie that supposing i had to work today and he too the same...but we still spare some time for each other...lolz...was surprised that we 2 did the same thing and never tell each other until i told him tat...went home right after the movies...

monday : went to work vv early in the morning...sooo tiring...there are sooo many problematic forms...sigh...but lucky for me,as abby is sending me to the client's office tomorrow...attire code was office wear...OL ar this time...i guess this time job will be much more easier =) and may get to know more ppl...muahhaah...just cant wait for tomolo...

Ask me password for this part of the post

thinking of taking on some laxatives to aid me in achieving wat i want

as for how much i think,i think because you mean a lot to me~

23042010

a very usual day for me...had been practicing my piano for the whole day...yes...i really mean it...it's WHOLE DAY...you can see my fingertips looking red and becoming vv sensitive...as for the nails,there's a lil bit of blood...and as for my left hand's fingers,are becoming vv red and swollen...exams coming and i'm kinda nervous...

while i'm taking a break off,i called up my other half...yeah,she's back already...and we talked non stop...our stories are never ending ones...even if u let us meet everyday...just like our schooling days...she asked bout my life including andrew...then i told her everything...there's a lot i gotta tell her...cuz she didnt online much...at times,she even called from singapore...

she told me stuffs too...between she herself and her bf plus ex...haha...darling, i PUI FOK u~!!! lolz...telling her i wan this and that...nahhh...just laptop...she scolded me,"i tot you buy already at PC Fair?~!!! then u go PC Fair for wat?!" hahaha...lolz...she sounded funny...i didnt buy darling,was there doing some surveys and walk around only...

i told her to visit my blog...and i told her wat happened the past few days...she always listens...always...i just love her so so much...not only tat,she oso tells me wat's wrong in a way tat i could accept...yeah darling,i know that it's because that he didnt have the time for me and that's why my imaginations go much wilder,and i even tend to keep it to myself...

but i just didnt realize that myself too...until you told me that...but i cant help it...gurls are still gurls...one small thing could even trigger me to think and imagine horrible stuff...maybe it's just because that i dont wana loose him...but at the same time,holding too tight would make him leave too...sigh...

how i wish,we're back to the ol' days...you had my back and i had yours...telling each other what's the prob...at least,we're letting it out,not keeping it like this till i've gone crazy...how i wish that both of us stay by each other...but reality shown,u've gotta study at SG...and i'm staying here doing my ACCA till the day i go to UK...but still,we always spare some time for both of us =)

darling,u have a safe trip alright? i know i know,you're envy of your fren who can get the prada wallet all by herself...me too =( dun be lar k? u're gonna work soon and i'm sure u or your bf can get 1 for urself =) i'll wait for your return =) then we'll go out with fer fer and weng kee...muahahhaa...and i wana claim my birthday celebration~!!! lolz...as planned,call peggy and caroline out too lar =) i love you~♥

i'm gonna work tomolo...as data entry clerk...gotta wake up sooo early in the morning...cuz i'm having piano lesson at 8.30 in the morning...i'm sorry chris...i know u wanted me to work for u badly...tho u can rise my pay,i oso dun wana work tat particular job lar...i'm not good at teaching ppl and i had no patience at all...lolz...i'm so sorry chris...next time ok? heheh =) you're the best agent i had before...from all those jobs i had been working,you're the best of the best...cuz you taught us tricks,treat us makan and playing with us at arcades,watch movies and all...thanks yar...just the next event job,ok? =)

it's gonna be a long day tomolo...and i'm hoping it's coming faster...plans are up ahead...and outings...and i decided to gave up all my branded bags for my lappie =( yeah,it's kinda sad...and i saw 1 gucci and LV bag that i really want...i guess,it gotta wait then...and jacket too...i soooo wana get a new jacket...tat has gotta wait too...i must must must must get a laptop~!!! argh~!! enough du...off to bed~

night~

thanks sweetheart andrew~!!!

hey readers! notice anything new? yeah...major changes eh? not so much lar...just that the background turned white from black and as for the header,it's from my sweetheart...he changed all this while i'm away...thanks bie for doing all this...it might be sth small for some of you guys out there,but all these small things do count too...

ck,he read the previous post already...yes,he opened it...chun eh? lolz

both of us,didnt sleep much last night...i couldnt sleep too...tossing round and round...as for him,he's working sth out...that's wat he told me...and i woke up vv early this morning...slept less than 5 hours...i think the same goes to him as well...cuz the msg he send was early too...

i'm a failure as his gf...i tend to make things goes wrong...and the worst part is,i tend to make them go from wrong to worse...you dont know how bad i felt bout it...how bad it is...all i want is him to be happy,but i tend to make him feel the other way round...

bie,i'm sorry for all those unhappiness that i had brought to you...it is obvious that i had been thinking too much for the previous post and i tend to go wrong direction...it went even worse when i keep it to myself...

is it because of me that you couldnt sleep last night? for how much you dont wana be a part of my pain,it goes the same to me too...i'm sorry and thanks for all these...all these changes in my blog =) i love them and i love you too...from day to day,whenever i feel sad,i always read back our messages...yes,from all over again...from the first day we sms up till today...it's not sth diligent to be done or wat...it's just that i wan to recall our memories...from the day i had nothing up till today,the love you gave me...everytime i read,those things that we do on that day,always pop up...such as,you went up to genting,the PD road trip,your bday and many more...things you say...i'll never forget...i'm sorry once again & i love you~

eh ck,this part for u...i where got "9 em dap 8" o? cannot happy 1 meh?! BISHHH~!!! i damn happy ar...luckily u're not beside me...if not,hmph...sure fan sei...hahha...and another thing,you no need to bang me head to the wall jor lar...lolz...blek =P

she falls once more...

it's pichas time...lolz..below are the pictures of my saturday outing...when to solaris...had been turning round and round searching for some restaurant we haven been to...but in the end,we still chose ole-ole bali...food was delicious...i love the beef and marsh potato~!!

this is the best shot i could get while sitting

the stick 1 is very delicious,spicy as well...

i love the marsh potato and the beef a lot~!!

on the way up to genting...a very disappointing hair cut and i still hate the fringe~!!!

while taking a break off from study at the library...signing "shh"

had my exam today...didnt get enough sleep as usual..i just slept for 2 hours...i just cant sleep at all...stress out...and i didnt have the appetite to eat...but still,i gotta to eat right? cuz paper's at 2pm...i munch on some crackers and then i'm off to library...it was freaking cold...ytdy too...i know how to do the calculations part but as for the theory,well...it's kinda tough...but i guess i can pass lar =)

some where in between,during my examinations,my heart hurts all of the sudden and it pumps rapidly...sigh...heart problem eh? or i guess it's just tat i didnt have enough of sleep...

Recently : i've been thinking a lot...just a lot...you cant even imagine it...and i do wish i could stop...now tat my exams is over,it even make it worse...cuz i'll have lotsa free time to think and imagine stuff...i need a job badly...to keep myself busy...there's sumthing...shall i type it out here or verbally tell my frens bout it or shall i just kept it to myself?

Ask me for password for this part of the post

i cant anymore...

chosen to keep it to myself~

off the coast~

let's see...i hadnt been onlining much...even if i do,status was away...friday,i went to PC Fair...i'm sorry Jon that i'm late...cuz i tot you'll be too so i might as well had my brunch at home first...and tat's wat made me late...before boarding on the lrt,i received a call from dad...he asked me to buy DVD discs...and heck! i checked my wallet,if i buy the discs,means not enough for my external hard disk lar...i was planning to use credit card but end up,i just bought the DVDs cuz there's just sooo much to be choosen from...

purpose to go there was to survey on the price of my laptop,get external hard disk and any of the accessories...and ofcuz to lepak as well...wy joined us too...it was sooooo tiring...not to mention at the end of the last hall,there goes nightmare...those broadbands promoters are killers i tell u~!! they're just soooo "long sei" hahah...
at the end of the day,i found out the laptop i wanted is just a bit over budget...but i'll get it tho...no matter wat...i still need to go lowyat and ask more questions on the diff laptops of my choice...then only i get to decide which to buy...

on the saturday,i went to solaris...have dinner at ole-ole bali...with evonne...she's fd's gurl =) the one i've been longing to meet...after that,we headed up to genting...damn sienz ar~!!! the guys were playing pools...and we gurls just sit and watch...sorry my dear evonne,i didnt talk much tat night cuz i'm really sienz and i felt tired...

till sunday came...when we're sitting down to have our breakfast...sist sudd burst out the topic of PC Fair...cuz she wanted to go...and suddenly,my dad asked if i were to buy a laptop...he say he will get one for me...but i better not...it's better i get it by myself...so tat i wouldnt get blame or whatsoever and i can have it all for myself~!! muahahaha...

it's 3plus in the morning right now...surprisingly,i dun feel sleepy at all...will be continue-ing my studies after finishing this....and i had been thinking over some stuffs...something which it shouldnt be thought of at all...well ck,u get me right? same like u lar...always thinking over lotsa stuffs...and i know,you're sure to bang my head onto the wall...lolz...

Oh God~!! make it stop pls...but i just cant stop thinking bout it~!! i just CANT STOP~!!! ARGH~!!! god damn it~!! i know i'm stupid...and shant be thinking at all...alright,back to studies lar then...

feel my pain~

hadnt been online much for this few days...there's 2 person who kept asking me to rest more...that 2 person i mentioned are HL and BIE~!!! URGH~!! okok...i know lar...and thanks for being so caring yar =) haha...

my medicine is almost finished yet my flu hasnt recover yet...fever's gone...my tongue's still tasteless...not to mention,i've been purging everything out no matter what i eat...what the heck?! sounds like bulimia huh? i'm not lar ok...it's just,i feel like vomit and there goes...the best part is,i SLIM DOWN ALREADY~!!! hahahah...

sometimes,i just wish to have sickness like this...can slim down faster and easier leh...but this time is at the wrong timing lar...i got exam...lolz...i'm sure sweetheart will be angry when he sees this...but i dont think he'll have the time for now =P

bie had been busy busy busy busy~!!! i oso wana get busy~!!! i'm gonna be...since exam's coming soon,i'll be staying home and study only...after that,darling will be back from sg...tat means OUTINGS~!!! muahahha...i'm sooo hoping that there's job for me...it's so unfair that only my sweetheart gets to be busy...i oso wana be busy lar...i wana earn money...i wana WORK~!!! i dun care ar~!!! ish...where's all my agents when i'm free?! when i'm busy taking up the other jobs,they always called at the same time~!!! ggrrrr~!!!


bout yesterday...i dont know wat came into me...but i'm surely to miss my sweetheart LOADS...i woke up 4sth in the morning,cuz i'm struggling...until 6sth,i wake him up to work...but before that,i had this weird dream...to me,it's a nightmare...i dreamt that i'm reading bie's blog with a gurl called him MARK and she fed him...wthell~!!! i oso havent did tat before...after that,i'm wide awake and i sms bie bout this...then only i found out it's only a dream...

in the evening,before i took a nap,i had been lying down on my pillow which i called it *artificial andrew*...some where in between,i cried...i dont know why,but that pillow which i lied down on,somehow really feels like as if it's andrew's shoulders...and at night,i've been bugging hl and ck...becuz i really missed him...WAT IS THIS LAR~!!! miss miss miss...just met a few days before only lar...must be the medicine or the sick eh? hahha...sorry lar bie,i got nothing to blame at already =P i'm sure when ck read this,he's sure to bang my head onto the wall saying,"if you dun miss him,means you dun love him liao lar SILLY GAL~!!!" hahah

i've been very lonely this few days...maybe it's because of my sickness...all i want is you,to come tuck me in to bed and cuddle me up like how you used to...how i wish if you were here when i'm awake...but i know it's impossible...you've gotta work and i gotta stay home...

today,seeing you of being so caring and so concern bout my illness,i'm very happy...i know we met for not even 10 mins,but it's always better than nothing...bie,thanks for coming by yar...i've never look into your eyes for so long already and today i had the chance to do so,a hug from you,satisfied me...i still miss you,sweetheart~

SICK~!!!

from my previous post,i've been thinking a lot...thanks ck for clearing out my mind...he was asking me,how hooligan was i? and he said,all i did was asking to take photos and posing uglily...noises werent from me myself alone...it was everyone's...and he did say,"i hardly see you crazy" i was like -_-" swt...i'm crazy enough...or am i old? OH NO~!!! but ck,thanks for clearing it out for me =)

back to the topic...today the 14th...well,i've been sick since 13th early in the morning...i was tossing round my bed,feeling hot and cold all of the sudden...and kept waking up at 4sth in the morning,7 am and 9 am...i didnt feel well on that day...dizziness...i just felt so sick...my head and neck,they felt so pain...and the first thing i did in the morning is msg lynn...telling her how worried i am that it is a denggue fever...cuz the symtoms are so alike...and next week,i got exam~!! so i cant be admitted into hosp...it's just sooo wrong timing...

i got up again at 11 sth...cuz i had a lunch date with sweetheart...i wanted to reach 1u at 12...tat was my plan..cuz i wana walk around...but then,i delayed...cuz i was just so sick...lying on the bed...until 12.20 only i left my house...bie was having a meeting...so he might be late...while waiting,i slept in my car until he called...

well,i cut my hair...ofcuz i wanted him to see the best in me...but that slept in the car,make it all messy =( and i do look pale,i know that...sushi zanmai as wat i told him i wanted to eat...but i lost appetite...i ate 2 sushi only...and i went to toilet for 3 times to vomit...bie said that my temperature is really high and i looked red...he even wanted to cancel this lunch and go consult doc with me...but i stopped him...he asked why didnt i tell him earlier...cuz i know he will cancel it like how he did it now...

i know i'm silly...but i just wana spend some time with him...and lately,i've been missing him alot~!! bie accompany me to my car and i said i wana fetch him to his car...he refused but i insist..yes i know,you're gonna say that i'm stubborn...i knew that lar...but fetching u to a carpark which is same floor and not much further,isnt much a trouble for me lar silly...then i went home straight...

get some sleep...till 8sth at night i woke up...dad woke me up to bring me for consultation...well,i'm still lying around my bed,cuz i barely can feel myself...shower then off to clinic...kept waiting and waiting...it's a long queue and i dont feel so good...i wanted to lie down but there're so many ppl around...i just kept holding on...until they called my name...oh,i didnt went to the reception earlier cuz dad registered already for me...cuz if he doesnt,i would need to wait longer =(

i told doc the prob...and he examine me...my throat's temperature was 39.5 deg~!!! that's high...and it isnt denggue or H1N1...tat's wat caused the fever and the sour pain around the body...symptoms are alike to denggue right? luckily it aint...i still gotta go back after 2 days if my fever hasnt recover...my name was called at the reception counter to collect my medications...guess wat? they're 6 diff packets...but in total,i gotta eat 10 tablets =( some double up...i've gotta eat 3-4 times a day...wtheck...damn a lot...and they arent small too...

i went home after that...i dun even have the appetite to eat...even sweetheart who's at cheras,wanted to buy me porridge...but you see,he's so far...takkan i want him to come all the way here...in the end,i just stay home...taken a piece of crackers...then i ate the medicine...halfway thru it,i already felt like wana puke...it's disgusting,and the tablets are so big in size ~!!! =(

then i went to bed after that...cant imagine it...i had been sleeping the whole day and yet i can sleep so early...it's only 10 sth by tat time...i woke up in the middle of the night bout 1 sth...i saw sweetheart's msg...i didnt reply him,cuz i tot it might awake him...i woke up to vomit again...how serious is this gonna be huh?! all i felt is bitterness around my tongue...ewww~!!! those medicine...

till this morning,at 11 sth,i woke up...i saw bie's mms and msg...phone had been shut down cuz it's running out of batt...i saw the time of the mms...baby hadnt been sleeping..it's 3am~!!! OMG~!!! so late...and i msg him...he told me,he only get to sleep at 5am...i'm sorry bie that i kept you worry...

i've been better...still a bit feverish...throat been better too...flu,still the same...still appetite-less...tongue had been tasteless...oh shucks~!!! there goes my dizziness and headaches again..it's time for medication then off to bed...before i end this post...

sweetheart baby,you take a good rest as well too alright? i know you didnt get much sleep last night because of me...dont worry bout me and get some sleep~!!! i know i'm degil,and i'm sorry for that...i'm guilty as well...i know myself very well...and i still went for the lunch because i still can hold on...i just wana spend some time with you...i dont know what's with me this few days...but i've been missing you lots...it's like i'll never be there again tomorrow...funny right? oh, and another thing bie...

i love you

09042010 - A Memorable Night

09042010 : as usual,i didnt get enough sleep the night before...cuz i'm having exam today...bie was nagging,asking me to get some rest...i did,30mins rest =P early in the morning,i had piano lesson...had my breakfast right after that...then continue to study...till the time bout 2 sth,i went for a bath...then headed to college...

met up with lynn and we had our chats...study as well...it was raining~!! everyone was so nervous...and finally,we can get inside to our venue to sit for the exam...when the exam ends,everyone was so excited of taking photos and deciding where to go for dinner...ended up,we stick to ori plan,to kepong...i forgotten that restaurant's name...

there's 27 of us...yeah,big group...food there was "okay"...we had 4 big tables...sat separately but near to each other...took a lot of photos...yoyo's gang was playing "catch-me-if-you-can" with the food...yes,they're running around...i'll just let the pictures do the talking =) i'll upload it in facebook =P and the bill was RM600++...lolz...well,dun let the figures frighten you...still gotta divide by 27 of us =)

we were all happy...having great times...some are leaving to other states and some are staying...so we made the best of tonite...i'll miss you guys for sure...and wish all of you all the best in everything you do alright =)

mata duitan

10042010 : went to mid valley with sweetheart...he had to met up with his colleagues first then we went to buy movie tickets...we are watching "clash of the titans" FINALLY~!!! argh~!!! it's in 3D summo...we had our dinner first...at cheras...claypot chicken rice...then we went home to watch some videos first before going back to mid valley...cuz show's only starting at 12am...we took some photos with the 3D glasses...i dunno what came into me...but all i was doing is,hugging him a lot...as if i will not be there tomolo...headed home at 2am...i'm sooo tired and sleepy...

11042010 : a very emo day for me...i couldnt control my emotions...they're just so unstable...asked bie a question that had been bothering me the whole night...and i found out,on the very same day,our class farewell dinner,his frens were there...they saw me and yes i know,behaving wild...that's one of the reason i've been very emo the whole day...bie said he's okay with it...but i still wondered,if he is?

bie said that they're too old to see all this...and i know they couldnt feel us anymore...but i'm sure that the photos,the noise that we made,it's gonna me sth memorable...i'm sure that when we're 5 years older and look back,we'll smile for sure for that night...bcuz it's sth what youngster do...takkan we wait till we're old only do all this,and i bet not all old ppl can do all this...before it's too late...we'll never know what's gonna happen tomolo...cherish everything you had today and do whatever you could to make you happy...

the only thing that bothers me is the reputation of my sweetheart's...i've been very very down lately...thinking lotsa things...went out to movie with the family...we watched "how to train your dragon"...met sun too there...so coincidence,same theatre room too~!!! haha...well,i gotta admit that,it's a good movie...and i've a wrong perception of it at first...

went home...i took choc out for a walk...i realize now that everytime i took baby out,it's when i'm down or when i've sth to thing over...baby had been accompanying me the whole day...it's funny,as if he knew how i felt...well baby,mummy thank you for everything you did =)

had fancy dinner with family...it's been so long i didnt have dinner like this...the last time was last year...with the bill of RM500++...i had my favourite "shuet kap"...didnt have bird nest cuz were sold out T.T

sweetheart went to movie with his frens...he even watch "human being" already =( sigh...there's so much movie i wana watch~!!! nobody accompany me go...damn it~!! where are the ppl when you need them...ARGH~!!! i think i might as well watch alone lar like that =(

FYI,i haven even watch "alice in wonderland","beauty on duty","human being" and MANY MANY MORE~!!! i havent even watch the ones before it...it's not showing already =( nvm lar,watch dvd lar lidat...sigh...KESIAN ME LAR PLS~!!! SOMEONE,ANYONE accompany me go watch movie pls~!!!!

bie called after movie ended and after he reached "keranda"...that was 1.40am...to have supper...i decided to wait up as usual...but i fall asleep...somehow,i woke up at 2.17am...i looked at the clock,wondering why bie hadnt call me yet...and i think he might be late cuz need to fetch ah toh back home...while waiting,i fall asleep again...finally he called~!! around 2.24am...now that he had called,i can sleep with relieve...

sweetheart,i've been honest to you all these while...but i didnt know why you always thought that i lied..there're some things that i didnt do with you but rather do it with my frens bcuz i'm not flawless...in fact,i didnt want you to see them either...i'm afraid that you might leave because of the digusted features...that goes with my trademark laughs too...it's not that i still categorized you in the "same-with-other-guys" but it's just that i'm even afraid to show it to my own bf especially when it's YOU...

i love you just as much as you do...i kept my promises,and i do remember what i promised you..first,to be honest...second,never to leave you...i remembered it very well,and i know you do too...there's so much disagreements in between us...but dont worry...there's one person told me to "agree to disagree"...i've learned to aprreciate 0ur differences (yes,even our opinions)...in fact,i encouraged them because i realized now that those differences are what makes each of us unique and special...some ppl might not understand what i'm trying to say,but i hope you do bie...

my aims..

apparently,i'll be very busy for the coming years...yes...not months...is years...cuz i'll be
focusing on :

1. my piano practical exam
2. my studies in ACCA
3. will be working if i had any free time

my goals :

1. will be working cuz i wana buy myself a laptop before i'm heading to UK
2. a new car...yes,all by myself
3. to buy properties too
4. i wana build my own career...

so far,that's the plan for now...i'll be busy in my studies cuz it's tough and i wana concentrate...i remember after the 3months stay in UK,they also offer Master programme in Birmingham City...i dunno yet,but for now,i felt like i wana take it =) but who knows,i'll change my mind in the end..and who knows,i might stay and work there...

bout working,yes...i will be definitely but oni if i had free time and oni if there's event going on...work to build up my finance...to get myself a laptop...yes,the one and only LENOVO laptop of my OWN 1~!! haha...cuz currently,i'm using dad's...it's sooo business like...not suitable and he needed to use it...so i need to get my own personal one =)

bout my goals,i'll achieve one by one slowly in the coming years...after i bought the laptop,ofcuz i wana get myself my own car with my own name and own plate number~!! muahahha...as for properties,i'll get it as soon as my financial status is better when i have a career...

i know i know...i'm like planning for the future so fast already...but hey! that's me...one who think a lot,imaginative and also one who think of the future...that's why,i make me very "fan" at times...

will be having our TIA test tomolo...and it's the last day of this programme...will be going to dinner will ALL the mates after that...to take fotos..haha...i guess we're not gonna to meet till our convo...or we might...if we organize a gathering =)

bout bebe : he's been recovering already...but sometimes,he had nightmares till he screams out...and couldnt touch him from behind cuz he'll go shock and bite ppl unless he knew it...get well soon,bebe...

sickness : still the same...flu's been recovering but cough is getting worst...let's hope it'll recover ASAP...cuz i wana go play~!!! muahahhaa..

and now,bout my sweetheart...we had a long conversation on phone last night...as usual,i never gonna hung up first...NEVER~!! and he was silent all the way when i didnt wana hung up...so,i make funny sounds..."bloop bloop bloop bloop" hahha...like bubles...bie always laugh whenever i make this...lolz...

oh and dear xiao yuan,if you're reading this...i'm coming~!!! on the 3rd of may if there isnt any prob coming thru =) yes,be my tour guide and i wana take fotos~!!! not to forget,CLUBBING~!! haha...i'll hit wednesday...dun worry =) miss you loads...and i guess you knew why i chosen that date right? 1st,is because my class will be starting on the 17th...2nd,ofcuz...crashing with my sweetheart andrew's time at singapore...haha...but i might not be able to meet him oso mar...he need to work...so my time is yours...AND dun give yours ALL to stephen ar...leave some to me also K~!! haha...love ya~

06032010

late for class today...YES...AGAIN~!!! but it's not bcuz of mrr2 jam...it's becuz of the stupid T junction there,the traffic light before my college there had a lorry break down...after class,me,wy and cy went to steven's corner to have our breakfast...went home right after that...

around 1.40pm,i went out...to wy's hse...to pass her the cake and take the software from her...after that i went to bie's hse...online and study a lil there...bie was sleeping...and he hit me on accident on my nose...nose bleeds right after that...i'm still in pain after a moment there...nose kept bleeding this few days...just like this morning at 5sth,it bleeds again...disturbing my sleep...sigh...just thought of sth...i always kena my bf hit one...why ar? before,it was louis,scratching my face...damn it...lucky didnt have scar...and now this..

took a nap...cuz i didnt have much sleep...after i woke up,i used bie's laptop again...open up one of his folders till i saw his blog's header...with evelynn...i wanted to delete it at first...on 2nd thought,i didnt...cuz i havent got his permission...and i open a folder where our comversation 1st started...it really shows how sweet he were by then...talking non stop with me...it's very diff from now...why ar?? why every couples oso like that? things that happen before they were together will be done lesser after they're together...sigh...

went home bout 6.30pm..i asked him to accompany me down...but he didnt want to...i was sad and angry at first...but on the way home,i had been thinking...that it was my wrong...why would i be so "xiu hei"?! i was suppose to not force him to do sth that he didnt want to...and for this,BIE I'M SORRY..

tomolo will have MYOB test...good luck peeps~!! =)

bie,i'm sorry that i pushed you and forced you to do sth that you didnt like...and the worst part is,when i'm angry at you for it...sigh...i'm sorry...somehow,i doesnt look like your understanding gf anymore...i dont know,my emotions are very unstable now...angry,frustrated,annoyed,depress and i even wana fatt pei hei~!!! wat came into me?! i'm suffocating for this =( suffering too...sorry sweetheart...i'm so sorry...

Day 7 - A moment spent

went to college early today to submit the car sticker renewal form...mrr2 was jam..last thurs too...wondered why...it wasnt like this before...hmmm...so i was late...i met up lynn then we submit the form together...after that,we went for breakfast at bobo

we saw kang pei,cy and ah wei there too...so we joined them...cy didnt go for lectures...she said she's lazy...ck didnt come too...BISHHH~!!! stupid ck...i know you're reading this...the class is damn sienz lar without you guys...and wy brought her new phone...busy with her new phone sending pictures and themes from my phone and hl's...didnt pay much attention too...in the middle of the class,sweetheart called me =) finally he went off work...he asked me whether wana find him anot cuz we hadnt been meeting each other for some time...i said i didnt want to at first...cuz i wanted him to rest...but then,he told me that he need not to...so i decided i'll go..

class ended...i went to meet up with stepmum...we went to carrefour to buy some stuffs...then around 2pm,she sent me back to take my car...by that time,bie called me...i was still in the car with stepmum...after i took my car,i head to "cat road" passing by brem mall...bie said see if can bump into me anot...i was hoping that he could...but traffic was slow moving at his side

FYI,cat road is the term i used when i was sms-ing with bie to indicate JALAN KUCHING...lolz...

i reached his place first ofcuz...i parked my car and i was planning to give him a shock when he reached...i'm looking at the pillars wondering which sud 1 sud i hide in...i wanted to hide in those which are nearer to the lifts but end up,i chosen the parking lot next to his...but planned failed...cuz when he reversed the car,he can see me by the mirror =(

when i was trying to unload his luggage for him,he stopped me =( all i wanted was to help him out a lil...but mayb it's just him that didnt like ppl to move his stuffs like how i am too...so i took a nap...was having headache...my sick,it isnt going anywhere...it's even worse =( bie snores a lot and he's very tired i know...

i woke up around 5 sth...started to online...busy looking for a piece of paper too...cuz i'm planning to leave him a msg and leave his hse without waking him up...i did found 1...after writting the msg,i placed it on his desk beside his bed...right underneath his phone...so that he can read it =) i went home bout 6.10pm...daddy opened the door for me...he asked,"andrew not yet wake up?" and i replied,"no...i dont wana wake him up...he just got back and he's so tired"...

i knew i should wake bie up from his sleep for tonight's setup...just in case he didnt set his alarm...i woke him up at 7.50pm...and i knew he slept back...at 8pm,i called again...
my blur dummy says,"i tot i called you already?"
i said,"yes...and you're sleeping back...wake up~!!"
bie, still in sleepy tone,"but it's not even 9 yet"
curious me asked,"i tot you said u need to reach by 9?"
bie replied,"ya hor~!!! okok..."

haha...he's just so cute when he's sooo blur...and i even asked him to say thank you...haha...i didnt do anything much...just finished up my excel work...and watch tv...and fetch sist back from tuition...

sickness : still the same...cough is getting worse...flu too...and my nose had been bleeding for 3 times today...ytdy did too...but wasnt tat serious...i dun wana see specialist...i'm afraid T.T pls dun bleed already alright? my nose bleeding isnt like normal ppl ones...it bleeds like a running tap water...non stop at all...i just dun wana go to the specialist...it's scary...

silly sweetheart,you wana sleep under my arms with comfy too,you can just tell me...hmmm...sorry bie that i've awaken you from your sleep which is not enough at all...finally,can meet you already today...even though it's a just a short while BUT it is enough for me already...another thing bie...i wouldnt felt left out...i understand bout your work life...so dun feel that way ok? love you,lou gong zai =P

Day 6 - Cheng Ming

continue from my previous post...woke up very early this morning...for Cheng Ming of cuz...it's so hot...damn~!!! we even gotta walk there becuz it's so jam...even if we use motor,it's still jam...sigh...luckily,our house is quite near...so walking wouldnt be a problem...

the men and boys took the stuff...we gurls just walk taking umbrella...haha...we've gotta go 3 places...sigh...so exhausted...we've gotta walk uphil...and CLIMB~!!! luckily i'm in sports attire...muahahahha...we went to the great grandpa and great grandma's grave first...after we're done,to our grandpa...which we gotta go downhill...there's a longer and smoother path to grandpa's...but aunt, didnt want to...so we took shortcuts instead...and it's so steep going down hills...plus there's river and slippery rocks...it's just like "kembara halangan",in english is called "land of obstacles"...finally we're there...when we're done,we've to go back to the other side to uncle's...sigh...so tired going uphill and downhill...but i enjoyed...just like old times =)

we went home after we settle everything...then,we go for breakfast..to eat BEEF ball noodle...haha..my fav...yes,i couldnt eat...but i still do...and it is in fact still my fav..lolz...then went home,played with bebe a lil while and be a potato couch...lolz...then i took a nap after that...my miad and 3 of my sist joined too..we're really worned out i guess...

had dinner at 6pm...FYI,i've been craving for soup and today i got 1...i'm so happy...hehe..delicious and satisfied with my dinner...after dinner,we went back to kl...we went to night market...cuz daddy wana exchanged sth...then we went home and i took a bath...when i was looking in the mirror,my expression was,"OMFG~!!!!"

guess wat...i got sun tan~!!! DAMN~!!! so dark...my face,neck and all round my hands...sigh...i'm getting darker T.T

right now,i'm here at dePastry Chef with louis...yam cha...this place is the place i first met my sweetheart...

sweetheart,it's still the same words i'm gonna use...i missed our memories,our jokes,our long conversations BUT i still miss YOU the MOST~!! i aint a sweet talker...you knew that...it's everything that what i wana tell you from my heart =) i love you~

Day 5

woke up early today for piano class...she gave me an aural book to asked me photostat to practice singing at home...she oso gave me another book to help her photostat...i did...i'm curious bout sth...i went to photostat,they asked bout my mum...i went to buy breakfast,they ask bout my mum too...why huh? why so kepoh? mummy had left home long long time ago...bout 3 years back then...i think i'm getting used of this feeling already...after all,divorce isnt sth new in this 21st century eh?

another thing i dun like...someone that i've been long never chat to,came chatting with me this morning...being a typical bitch as she is before...never changed...came by just to ask me,what my bf get for me and how i celebrate...i answered,"owh,bf was working..."
and there she goes again...making a real fuss around...saying how she and her bf celebrate hers and gave her flowers...she knew i never received 1 before...not in bouquet form...i was thinking,so wat?! ish~!!!
i didnt wana talk to her anymore...so i told her i gtg...before she can continue anything that's gonna hurt me...
i remember back then,louis gave me one pink rose...i was in form 4 that year...it's valentine's day...but that was long time ago...

i'll be going back to hometown later in the evening...for cheng beng...let's hope it's not that jam and hoping that tomolo morning will be in cloudy weather =) i havent pack anything yet...shall i bring my sports shoes back? hmmm....long pants and stuff...it's gonna be lotsa mosquitoes...

i'm still having headaches...will be taking a nap after i finish this and after i upload my pics...there's still lots...sigh...

sweetheart,enjoy your night at speedzone alright? i know you told me that might or might not be going...but i can sense,most probably you can go =) after all,it's just rehearsal...silly sweetheart,yesterday the msg i sent you,was wat i wanted to tell you...not being a sweet talker...i meant every word i said...and i'm glad that it made your day =)

Day 4 - Sick

no classes today...woke up bout 10 sth...lying on my bed...tossing round...then only i get up to bath =P found out that i lost my voice when i'm trying to talk to my dad...went out to buy breakfast for the family with my maid...i didnt do much today...watch tv...online...uploading pics into fb...and i'm having a severe headache...

took a nap at 5sth..woke up bout 8sth almost 9...it is ridiculous~!!! watch tv again...then went over to mum's...after that,i picked my sist up...went home and took baby out for a stroll,while sms-ing with sweetheart...it's been a very meaningless day for me...ntg much to do T.T

sweetheart,there's no need to apologize to me...i understand if you didnt talk to me much for these couple of days...you've been very busy working and there's a lot of things that you need to settle =) i'm here if you ever need me...no matter how late or early it is,i'll pick up your call...

counting down days till i can meet you...it's 16 days...but if i'm working,that's gonna be 20 days =( still a long way to go eh? it'll come =) take a rest whenever you can...take care sweetheart...

Random Day 3

i'm late for class today...really late..bout 15-20mins...sigh...MRR2 was jam...cant do anything bout that...so just stuck in the middle of the highway,listening to radio...

when i reached,i was in haste to my class...chit chats...after class,me,wy,cy and hl go for breakfast at old place...lynn can go~!!! =) was so happy...when me and lynn reached,we saw lotsa polices,dbkl and license investigator there...it was the shop next to it..big crowds...i didnt get to kepoh bout it cuz i need to pass my IC to abby...

while eating,we chit chats...as usual...they asked,"today is louis's birthday wor..." i answered,"yeap...then?" wy,"going out with him?"...i told her,nope...

and i told them,tat day,andrew and i sat at this very same table oso...haha...and you can guess wat's their reaction =P but i really am happy that wat he did for me mar...

me and lynn went home...as for cy and wy,they went for work...i uploaded a few pics...the ones related to my burfday celebration...it's still in the progress...line's freaking slow...

i'm feeling bored right now...not much that i can do...line's slow...sigh...such a dull day...

sweetheart,i've been listening to "Hey Soul Sister" again...i dont know why,everytime i listen to it,it reminds me of you...i'm missing you tremendously...it's been a very dull day for me...nothing much to do...i'm bored whole day...thought of going to genting to meet you up...but i guess i better not...cuz i know you're very busy with your work...and it doesnt look good with your colleagues there...

i dont know what i can do now...other than playing with bebe,or bring him out for a walk...wat else more? can time passed faster? my other mum called today...i guess you know who...she asked me wat present i want =) hehe...but i told her,ntg else i want now

I MISS YOU,MY SWEETHEART =( all i can do is,view back all the photos we've taken...there's so few of it...well,to me,it is...we shall take more fotos ok? i'm waiting for you to come back,bie...i'm waiting for you to try to squeeze some time for me...i know it hadnt been a good day at work for you again...i wished i could do sth to cheer you up...i wish i could...