Failure much?

Here I am again...
It looks like I've found my answer to my previous post...
But it all seems like it's too late...

...another failure...
he ended up our relationship...
as how much I wanted him to stay,
as how long I hugged him,
as how much I'm holding back and to be strong,
but I can't,the tears flow like a river...

I didn't wanted it to end this way...
I didn't wanted to give up just yet...
I still wanna go fight for it...
But it all seems like it is just me...
Because I knew when you had decided,
You would never turn back...
I've missed you...

Ended relationships one after another,each year...
What had I done wrong?
But I know,the answer I sought,it wouldn't be here anymore...

I didn't wanted to force you,
To speak out,
Nor to stay.
I didn't wanted you to be late for your work,
No matter how much hesitation I had,
How much grief I hold,
How much I wanna hold you longer,
Time hasn't been on my side...

Anna,
Take a deep breathe,
You'll rise again in time...

Self distancing

I had deactivated my facebook account since friday...
For all of y'all info,i had neither block any of you..

I just needed some time alone...
I had never been this disappointed ever...
After a multiple attempts of calls,you chose not to pick up...have you ever imagine if there's emergency and i couldnt reach you?
it just seems like I'm nothing to you...

I tried again tonight,but then again as i expected,you refused to pick up...
I dont even know if I'm alright,
I dont even know if i could pull myself together...
I have no idea...

All social medias,includes facebook account and wechat will remain deactivated...
I'll be back when I'm ready to be open again...

Torn apart,
vulnerable enough to be left alone,
but still in hopeful state,
don't ignore me,talk to me when you can~

The wounded heart

After that birthday trip,that birthday gift she awarded to herself...

That breakaway,
That breathtaking view,
That sunset by the beach,
That explorations & adventures of solo,
She called it,"the solitude time"

Back to reality,
Back to work and classes resumes,
Preparing for the big one,
The doomsday for all ACCA students...

As she sits here doing her final revision before she performs tomorrow,
Thoughts came running through again...
She hasn't found the answer yet,
The question she always asked herself...
Are you totally over it or are you just fooling yourself?
But at least,she gained her confidence back...

Was it really the petty things that get her all frustrated?
Or was she just comparing this person to the last?
Each time,of such sorts arose...
Each time,the same thought again...
Looks like she's going for another solo trip or one with her besties...

Memories were beautiful...
Weren't they supposed to distort as we grew older?
But she remembers them clearly...
She knew the happiness she wanted wasn't of this sort...
She knew she just wanted the one to look after her,protect her,give her the attentions and of course,of all,the one would honoured the promises...

Is it true a person can only love once?
She seems to lost it...
She can't find that same feeling no more...
As how much she knew her past had passed,
She stills wanted to savour in it...

The wounded heart of hers,
Is it truly healing or is it still bleeding?
All she knew was,she wasn't ready...

The solo adventurer,
The solitude time,
Only the sound of the waves can calm her thoughts now...
All the way up north,
Her longest journey by far... 
As how much going to the beach hurts with the memories,
That is also her only sanctuary ~